It seems I really do have some readers.  I had two comments from people I don’t even know and a few of my polls have at least 1 answer on them.  I am feeling fantastic, empowered, ready to take on the day and ready to work on the Al-anon steps.  I must take them one at a time.  There is no way to do this all at once.  ok – so here we go!!

Step 1 – We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

What word stands out to you?  The word that stands out to me is Powerless.  “what do you mean I am powerless, I can take on the world.”  This was what I thought when I looked over the steps the first time.  My husband had been in AA for about 3 months and I was not interested in going to any meetings or learning about why he drank and blah blah blah – well boy oh boy was I in for a surprise.  I was sitting there in his AA meeting listening to all the stories and what was being read from The Big Book.  Then like a knowlage baseball bat hit me in the head, my light bulb went off.  Oh my God, this was also about me!  I had just as bad of an issue with the alcohol as he did.  I was powerless over the alcohol.  I could not stop him from drinking, I could pour it out but he would just go get more.  I could yell, scream and beg – but he would go right back to it cause now he was upset or angry.  Yes – I am powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable.  Now what do I do?  How do I move on from this point?  After hearing the stories in  my home group about how they all found step one I realized something, until you get step one, this will not really take hold into your brain.  Going through the motions and coming to meetings is helpful, but unless you admit it to yourself and your higher power, you will not get it.

I have a feeling that like the other poeple in my home group, the first three steps are gonna be my 1 -2 – 3 dance.

Think of it as the cha cha.  1, 2, ,3 cha cha cha… 1, 2, 3, admit, believe, decide.

This being the first month of the year I will be going over more about step one and admitting I am powerless.