Archive for January 12, 2012


Thursday night Al-Anon meeting…

What has Alcohol stolen from you?

This was the question during our Al-Anon meeting tonight from one of the daily readings.  Well, Alcohol stole my husband from me.  It stole my ability to see the world and the people in it for who they were.  It stole my true self and put a hole in my heart.  For the longest time I thought the hole in my heart was due to the lack of children.  Due to health reasons I can not have children.  So we talked about adoption, we even tried to set things up for that to happen.  It was just never the right time.  That’s cause it was not time for us to have that in our lives yet.

How has your Higher power helped you get it back?

Through program, my meetings and praying – I found my husband.  I am now able to see that everyone that comes in and out of my life is there for a reason.  I am seeing more of my self everyday, and my heart no longer has a hole in it.  I covered that hole with a chip.  And I know that when we are ready for a child and the child that is meant for us is ready for a mom and dad – things will fall into place and it will happen.  I can not worry about that at the moment, I just keep working through my 12 steps and doing it one day at a time.

 

It’s funny that tonight of all nights we were asked “what did Alcohol steal from you?” I had already began to write the posts that will take place over the next few days about what alcohol stole from me.  I have notice that a lot since starting the recovery process.  Either TV shows, Movies or real life meets up with what I just read in one of the Al-Anon books.  But that is just proof to me that god is trying to make me listen.  He is showing me that He is there, He hears me and I should listen to the answers that just happen to be all around me.  I just have to open my eyes to see them. God bless!

So – Tomorrow morning (1/13/11) I will be starting a 4 part segment that goes very deep into the rock bottom of my husband’s drinking.  To put down in writing what we went through, I did leave out the more personal aspect for my own and my husbands personal reasons.  But what I share is still hard to say and is very real.   My heart hurt for a long time, but now it is healing.  Please feel free to comment on the next few days postings, or if you feel better sending me a private message you may do so at: chipinmyheart2011@gmail.com.  God bless you all and I hope you “tune in” over the next few days.  Episode 1 starts tomorrow morning.

Class

My husband is taking a substance abuse class – and he seems to be getting a lot out of it.  It’s ran by a husband and wife team, and they seem very knowledgeable.  The man who runs the classes has been clean and sober for a long time now, so he knows what everyone is going through.  Its not just someone who is reading things from a book, it comes from real experience.

I had a Dr once who was trying to treat my migraines when she had never had one in her life.  Its hard to treat someone when you have no experience with it.  So I am thankful that he is getting help from someone who knows what they are talking about first hand not just from what they were told to talk about.  Everything I talk about here is something I have experienced.  I may not have had an addiction to drugs or alcohol, but I am a smoker who has tried to quit and have done so for small jaunts.  I have been working on cutting back and then plan to be smoke free here very soon.  So yes, I too suffer from an addiction an I watched a loved one suffer with alcohol addiction.  I have had a few friends who have drug problems, some have sought help, others choose to just live with the addiction.

All I can say is that I speak from the heart, I speak about what on my mind and I share these things with the hopes that maybe, just maybe I can reach someone.  The class that my husband is taking not only goes over the mental part of the drinking addiction, it also goes over what you do to your body and the long term effects.  He shares with me the things they go over in class and it makes me happy he can share it with me.  I have heard somethings I never knew, and heard somethings I had been trying to tell him.  It doesn’t bother me that he didn’t listen to me but listened to them, he wasn’t ready to hear what I had to say.  Now with his open mind, he is able to listen and take to heart the damage he was doing.

If you are interested in a class I am sure that either your local AA or NA group might have some information.  Also I find doing a google search for things does sometimes prove helpful.  You just have to be smart with your google searches and check out the information before getting your heart set on anything.

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