On the last episode of missing husband, we had just found out that He had Broken his hand and had slowed down on his drinking…

For a few weeks the drinking was less than it had been over the last few years.  He came in for dinner earlier too, I wasn’t eating alone as much.  It seemed like we were on the mend and life was getting back to normal.  We had been invited to the annual June baby birthday party for our group of friends.  We had fun and went swimming – it was a blast.  Being so close to Father’s day we had to leave the party for a bit to go to dinner with my family and it was wonderful and we all seemed to have a nice time.  My family has always loved the way he can make us all laugh with his jokes or stories.

We got back to the party and that’s when things got intense.  I will not go into all the painful details but lets just say the night ended with red and blue lights and I spent the next few days with my parents.  I didn’t get to see my husband for the next three weeks.  No contact what so ever, it was hard even though I was so hurt.  After his court date we were able to talk and see each other, but I still didn’t want him at the house yet.  He had moved to my parents house and we started to go on little dates.  First it was just dinner at my parents or a movie.  Then we went on a true movie date to a theater.

He took me to see an awesome funny movie and then to dinner at my favorite Asian place.  First time I had ever seen him eat this kind of food, and guess what?  He loved it!  Over the next few weeks we went to more and more dinners and he would spend time at the house taking care of things for me.  He had a second court date to decide what they were going to tell him to do.  What the courts put in place was really a good program to have him get help.  I think it was the push he needed to seek a recovery program.  When he started his treatment I agreed to have him move back into the house, but stay in another bed room.  I was not quite over my fear or anger.  I started to see a counselor for sessions about once or twice a month.  It seemed to help.  He had also began seeing one for his anger management and taking a substance abuse class.  He was also going to AA 2 – 3 times a week.

I was still in the mind-set that this was his issue and I was fine.  I even had my shrink convinced I was doing just fine.  I was perfect with being the victim and letting my husband take the heat for everything.  I had been trying to protect him from the fire for many years, this time around he was going to have to deal with the fires he had set.  I had no strength left to put them out for him.  I was unwilling to go to any AA meetings or to any Al-Anon meetings.  I was not going to play my part in this game.  I felt hurt and wronged, I also felt that everyone was taking his side.  It seemed that my own parents were having more compassion for him than they were for me.  How could they do this to me!  I was the one who got hurt, I was the one who needed support, not him!

To be continued…

Advertisements