When people first come to AA or Al-Anon they can get this euphoric feeling, like floating on a cloud, or so I was told.  I can say that I do feel wonderful and much, better than I have in years.  I know that the hard times are still going to come up,I know that my depression will still rear its ugly head from time to time.  But the way I deal with those feelings is much different now.  I still ger frustrated and angry, but I am able to tell myself to take a step back and calm down.  It doesn’t always work fast, and I still shove my foot in my mouth sometimes.  I catch myself and say I am sorry right away.

I have only talked about the 12 steps so far, I forgot about the 12 traditions.

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon AA unity.

Unity if the group and our only family.  Our home group need unity, Al-Anon as a whole needs unity and my family group needs unity.  Now to me this doesn’t mean that we all have to agree on something, people will still have their own feelings on things.  But we must be there for one another, care for one another.  We need to reach out to each other, for the good and the bad.  Just because I feel good doesn’t mean I should not go to my meeting.  They need to see that you can be happy while in program and when I am sad I still need to be there so I can pull from their strength.  What if I am not there to help someone who is down while I am up, and then I show up when I am down wanting them to help me up?  I need to be there not only for myself, but so that someone can reach out to me like I have to others.  The good, the bad – we have all been there.

It’s nice to share and have someone place their hand on my shoulder and say, “I know how you feel, I have been there myself.”  I look at their smiling face and know that the sun will shine again.  We need both sunshine and rain to make a rainbow.  You have to see the ugliness to appreciate the beautiful moments in life.  My positive out look is by choice, when my feet hit the floor every morning, I thank god that he gave me this day and then I tell myself that I will not waste this gift of a day with self-pity and doubt.  It’s hard to do, might even sound a bit corny, but I like corny now and then.  It’s just something I have to do to get my day going on the right foot.  It sets the pace for my day and its up to me to keep it there.

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