Archive for January 24, 2012


Is Addiction Really A Disease?

Well, I’m fresh out of rehab, and all I can say is there are a million things I look at differently. Heading into rehab, I had some serious misconceptions of both what an addict / alcoholic was, and why it was important to distinguish why we addicts are the way that we are.

I have to face the fact that I’m an addict, and i’ll never be able to change that. What can change, is my honesty to admit I am an addict, my open-mindedness to find a new way of doing life, and finally, willingness to act upon to the proposed changes I will need to make. I had to learn that if its not God‘s will (And you will see me reference back and forth between God and Higher Power) its not a healthy will. I can clearly see where my own will has got me, and the end result was a rock bottom. Self-will run-riot

One thing that drastically changed for me, while in rehab, was my view on addiction- whether to drugs or alcohol. I got saturated in both NA and AA in treatment, and have been working both programs, so I will try to be specific when quoting literature, to let you know where I got it. For example In NA “alcohol is also classified as a drug.” ( See NA Big Book) In any case, this finally leads me to the title of this entry.

The medical profession has struggled to accurately handle the field of addiction, whether to drugs or alcohol. How do we know this? Look at our Jails, our Institutions, or the addicts we used to know.(Death) Their approach to addiction is flawed, and a video I got the pleasure of watching while in rehab made me see addiction in a whole new light. Some doctors are pressing now, that addiction is a disease. Here is the video, broken into segments, addressing the issue of whether addiction is a choice based problem, or a disease based problem.

I hope you are just as enlightened as I was, and I’d be very interested to know whether you originally felt addiction was a disease or not! Enjoy!

JUST FOR TODAY my thoughts will be on my recovery,
living and enjoying life without the use of drugs.
JUST FOR TODAY I will have faith in someone in NA who
believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery.
JUST FOR TODAY I will have a program. I will try to follow it
to the best of my ability.
JUST FOR TODAY, through NA, I will try to get a better
perspective on my life.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be unafraid. My thoughts will be on
my new associations, people who are not using and
who have found a new way of life. So long as I follow
that way, I have nothing to fear.

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Coffee
Image by @Doug88888 via Flickr

Some mornings I am lucky enough to have my sweet hubby make a cup of coffee for me for my ride into work.  Other morning there is not enough time or we both forget, on these mornings I have to make my coffee when I get to work.  So while I make my coffee I take that time to talk to my higher power.  I ask questions, I get things off my chest or just voice some concerns.  Now I don’t say these things out loud cause well I might be deemed the crazy lady who talks to her coffee.  But I do have the thoughts in my head and picture the stress or anxiety leaving my body.  I take the problems that I can not handle alone and I pray for help.

“To Pray is to ask the questions, meditation is to hear the answers.”

I pray every morning and meditate every night. Not only do I get help with what I was praying for, but it also relaxes me to be able to fall asleep.  I have bad insomnia and spent most nights watching the ceiling fan go around.  Part of it is from the headaches, the pain never really goes away.  The other part is not being able to shut my brain off.  I get a song stuck in my head, an issue that has come up that day or week or just what I want to make for dinner the next day.  What ever the thought is, I just can not shut it off!  So sleep for me sometimes is just something I know nothing about.

So for me my morning coffee is very important, it wakes me up and gives me time to pause and talk to my higher power.  I have a friend who writes “coffee with god” on FaceBook, I start Image representing Facebook as depicted in Cru...every morning with reading it.  Usually while drinking my coffee.  His words are kind and helpful, and some days it seems that what he is talking about is directly related to how I feel that day.  It’s nice to know that I am not alone, that people out there are going through or feeling the same things I am.  For some being alone is the most scariest thing.  For others all they want is to be alone.

I am one who is not found of being alone, I used to be one who was petrified of it.  I thought there was now way I could live alone, how could I go on without someone being right there all the time.  This summer I found out that I can very well live on my own.  Did I like it? NO!  did I survive? Yes!  Was it hard? You bet!  But I did it and so its not just the fear of being alone that is keeping me right where I am, its the love for him that keeps up together.  It’s a bond that runs deeper than just that of a husband and wife, we are truly connected again.  Its still hard, and we still make each other crazy.  But the ups are much higher now and much longer where the downs are much short and not so deep.

Don’t give up hope, if love is there and you have a good foundation – you can come out of this together.  We walked from the flames hand and hand, our bond and love stronger than ever.  Yes we had some chared edges and some scars.  But wounds heal, scars fade and together we will pull from each others strengths.  We have our recovery programs, we have each other, we have faith in a higher power, we let go and let god.

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