Men are apt to settle a question rightly when it is discussed freely.

To me this means that if you talk openly about something, it is more likely to get taken care of then if you are to drop hints.  I used to think I was really good at dropping hints, but sometimes they were taken the wrong way and I got myself into trouble.  If I want something, I need to just ask for it.  If I do not like something, I need to come right out and say it.  But still remember the other person’s feelings and word it in a way that still gets my point across but is not just plain mean.  Hurting someone is never my intention.  I used to just not say anything at all if I thought it would hurt someone.  And that was not good either.  Not telling someone something is just as worse as telling then just to hurt them.  Best thing to do is to just calmly discuss that it is in a way that is not an attack.

That’s what we used to be so good at, the attack.  He was better at it than I was, but me holding back was my response and in a way an attack.  I now have the tools I need to comunicate my feelings.  I can do so in a way that will cause minimal harm, if any.  I try to tell my husband as many times as I feel I need to tell him that I love him.  I never want that, oh I should have said it one more time.  He used to get made that I would say it too much.  Then after we had been separated and got back together, he told me I didn’t say it like I used to.  I told him well you told me I said it too much.  He said “You can say it as much as you want, I will not get tired of it.” so i say it as much as I feel the need to now.

I say I love you to many people in my life, there are friends that are so close to me that I do tell them I love them.  I see nothing wrong with telling someone other than your spouse that you love them, when you do not mean it in a romantic context.   I love you and God loves you too, that what I got from a friend.  “If nobody has told you they love you today, I do and God does too.”  I smile every time I see him post that on Facebook.  I just got the OK to start ending my posts with his saying.  So that is what I am going to do from here on out!

I try to remember everyday that things are not always what they seem…but more on that tomorrow.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

Advertisements