The other day I had a conversation about Approval vs Validation.
ap·prov·al [uh-proo-vuhl] noun
1. the act of approving;  approbation.
2. formal permission or sanction.
val·i·date[val-i-deyt] verb, -dat·ed, -dat·ing.

1.to make valid;  substantiate; confirm: Time validated our suspicions.
2.to give legal force to; legalize.
3.to give official sanction, confirmation, or approval to, as elected officials, election procedures, documents, etc.: to validate a passport.
To me approval is something you seek out and validation is something someone gives you.  It’s OK to want the validation, I think that is healthy.  But always seeking approval to my is where the trouble lies.  Trust me when I say that I was one who always looked for approval.  Maybe it’s because I never felt like I did good enough while I was growing up.   They would always make a big deal out of the stuff my younger sister did, even though I felt that what she did was just part of being a kid.  But in a way – them doing that made me be able to self validate a bit more.  I do still find myself seeking that validation and approval.
I will ask my husband if he liked what I made for dinner, or asking if what I have on looks OK.  But when he comes out of the blue and gives me a complement it means much more than after I have asked him about it.  I was also told that if you feel that you absolutely need the validation, like it is just something that you need to have – then ask for it.  Every once in a while we need to be told that we are loved and that we are special.  The other person who you are seeking it from may not know that is something that you need.
Also remember though that the one person who we want the validation from the most – might either not be able to give it to us or might not know how – or simply care not to.  But the best person to get validation from, is our selves.  “Why should I bother to clean the bath room, he will never say thing about it.”  Well clean it because you live there and it makes you happy.  “Why make a healthy dinner when they will just complain about it?”  Cause it whats you want to eat and it’s good for you.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

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