Taken from my comment on Rex’s post about “We Can’t Think Our Way Sober’

I like how step 2 says “could restore us to sanity”  Could is a very important word there, because it starts with us.  We have to admit, then we have to believe and then we can begin to be restored to sanity if we can let go and let “god” (as we understood him) restore us.

Our Higher Power could restore us to sanity, that whats I have to always remember.  That I still need to do my part so that I can be restored.  If my higher power is to be able to assist me in any way, I have to be able to let go of what it is that is troubling me.  And honestly let go, I will sometimes say I let go of something but am still holding onto a strand of it.  Not wanting to give up full control over the outcome, when truth is I have never had control over the outcome from the beginning but I thought I did.  I still have a bit of an issue doing this, but I am getting better.  The hardest thing to do this with is when we have bad weather or my migraines.  I try to panic about the bad storm and try to think out all the outcomes and worry about stuff that has not happened yet.  With my migraines I worry about what others will think if I can’t do something or want to lay down for a while.  Can not change how they see me and if I have to go lay down, then that’s what I have to do.  I will pray that my higher power helps me though the storm either outside or in my head and then I sit back and wait for the rainbow.
I can’t think my way out of the migraine, that might just make it worse.  I can’t expect my husband to out think his addiction, we both tried it and it didn’t work.  I am happy that his recovery and my recover from that part is well underway and we are both doing so well.  We both have come so far.  But I just with the migraines would try to catch up on the recover process.  But all I can do it take life one day at a time, so in turn all I can do is take it one migraine at a time as well.  I worried all the time that if I got sick like my mom or if the migraines got any worse that he would leave me.  Why would he want to stay with a sick person?  Well I stayed with him while he was sick, all I can do is have faith that he will be there and my higher power will be there.  I need to not keep my fears inside and learn to give up control to the ones who truly have control over them.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

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