Wow March already!  I must apologize for being a day late with my welcome to the new month post.  I was quite ill yesterday with a migraine, I try to get a post in even through the pain,

ghost god (pike and 12th)

but I just could not muster the energy.  I just could not put out a post just for the sake of a post that had not heart or feeling in it.  I only put up posts that have my heart and feelings in them, cause well that is the point here.  I just don’t post to post.  Anyways – let’s get on to the matter at hand, step 3!

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

OK, God as we understood him.  This is how you see your god, your higher power – for it says as we understood him.  Some people pray to nature, some people pray to the sandals, robe and long hair god, some pray to the ancient roman gods – who ever it is, what ever form they take in our mind – you must be willing to trust them.  You must be willing to hand things over and for most, including myself, this can be easier said than done.  As I have said before, things that are worth doing, things that are the right thing to do, things that we know better about all along – they are never easy.  If it were easy we might not be where we are right now, I know that’s what I did.  I took the path of disrepair and  negativity cause it was easier to give up than fight.   It was easier to hold on to my anger and resentment.  It gave me an excuse to feel like crap.  I gave myself permission to accept all the bad stuff in my life and blame others.  Was his drinking my fault, no.  Was the way I let it into my head my fault, yes.  I am not here to fix my addict, I am here because of him.  Am I here to learn how to fix him, no.  I am here to learn the tools needed to carry on my life that has been effected by alcohol. God, the Father watches us all everywhere.

I had to first admit to the problem at hand, I then had to believe that I could be restored, now I have to believe that I can not to this without help.  Lord knows sitting at home alone with my negative thoughts and actions got me no where for over 5 years, I can give this a try!  I have to tell myself all the time to let go, but as much as I try – I still hold on to the smallest of thread holding that problem to me.

After my meeting last night I was talking to a new comer to our group who is having a hard time, I gave her a bunch of hugs and a few words of comfort.  I told  her that I was where she is right now all but a few months back.  I passed on the Lego that I had been given my first night in Al-Anon.  It came with a story talking o letting go and using the Lego to help to remember to do so.  I thought that she might get some use from it as I had when I first found the program.

Lego bricks

  If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

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