There have been many instances lately (Which have also been a root cause of the absence of my writing) where work has just overwritten even my play time. I find myself dedicated to a cause, even striving to near perfection, in the completion of all tasks in a prompt and friendly manner. When I started to fall behind in a workload where only 50% I could actually control, I started to unknowingly allow myself to fall into the HALT categories. On the days where I was working, I pushed myself far beyond the normal limits, and the consequences started to rear their ugly heads.

Whenever I went into work early, to try to get a head start and edge the workload, I began to edge my need for food, and began to become hungry. When I was hungry, it was far easier to become irritable- which meant being angry was only a step away. Let me assure any doubters out there, that when you are angry, people will respond to you in two fashions; 1) They will get angry in return and a fight will follow or 2) They will avoid you like a bad case of the flu, which will ultimately leave you alone a.k.a. lonely. Once you have reached this point you will hit a stonewall emotional dump….sometimes even physical and behold, you are a tired individual.

I don’t know where the origination of HALT came from, but I do know that it makes sense to avoid every item on that list. I found that in no instance when I allow myself to follow in any of these categories, was I properly working my program, and was readily reproved by my sponsor. He chuckles at me frequently however and is quick to remind me that I am asking for trouble when I fail to start my day with a prayer and a daily reading.

I guess we all need a reminder every once in a while, even if you are years into sobriety, or just days.

God will grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, All  the courage I Need to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference If I Ask For His Help.

Steps 1-3 were taught to me in this format:

1) I Can’t

2) He Can   (He being God or your Higher Power)

3) I Think I’ll Let Him (The word Think is derived from even a fraction of willingness we have to try something outside our will)

God bless you all!

Advertisements