I had an awesome post typed out for today – and something happened and the wonderful world wide web ate it!  So here I go again – I will try to remember all the good things I had typed out.  I have been in recovery now for 131 days, every day it gets a little better.  Death has been all around me lately, whether it be program related or just in general.  But is saddens me when I hear of it non the less.  My self adopted family just lost his brother, cancer was a painful thing for their family.

Dealing with the thoughts that my husband could have drank himself to death had nothing been done scares me.  But I try not to let those thoughts stand in the way of the happiness that I have right at this  very moment.  That’s all I can do is live for today.  The past is the past  and things that happened yet are still up to God.  I can pray and I can ask the right questions, but I have to be willing to listen to the answers even if they are not what I want to hear.

I have a friend who is still in ICU, he is making progress and they are keeping us all posted.  Again, all I can do is pray.

as this month comes to a close I wanted to mention that I have yet to work my step 4 – I know the other ones were not like this one.  And I am not alone, I know of a few people who have been in program a long time and are still working on number 4.  I ordered blue print for progress off amazon and it should be here today.  I am also taking some classes online that my work is offering.  I started my first one on Friday, there are 15 I want to take.  In the first one, one part mentioned writing out a personal inventory of yourself – HA – that’s step 4!  How about that, it’s funny how program works for all parts of our lives.


If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!