So last night my dad had to take my mom to Urgent care – But I got a text this morning that they put her in ICU.  Her blood pressure is very low and I guess she passed out sometime last night.  My poor dad has been there all night long.  I went into work today because I am not sure how to handle these situations.  You would think that after a life time of dealing with your mom being in the hospital every few months that I would be a pro at this, but not so much.  They would ship us off to be with the grandparents while they dealt with mom being sick.  And that is more than understandable.  I remember once as a kid, little kid, I called the operator and asked her to find my mom cause I missed her – I didn’t get very far with that, but I remember crying on the phone begging them to get my mom on the phone.

I try so hard to keep healthy, I try my damnedest to eat right and get some kind of cardio in 3 times a week.  I also feared that if I got sick like my mom that my husband would leave me.  I don’t have that fear as much any more, one because he is no longer drinking and understands my illness like I am understanding of his.  And two, because I try so very hard to take care of myself, where my mom really hasn’t.  She doesn’t eat right, she doesn’t always listen to what we say or what the Dr’s say.

My husband was very compassionate this morning and gave me a big long hug, it was just what I needed.  I love my mom very much and I need her in my life.  I have not even made her a grandmother yet.  I have so many things lift in my life that I will need her for, I need the Dr’s to stop pumping her full of drugs that cause more issues than they help.  I am praying for her to get well as much as I can and ask that if you can find it in your hearts to pray for my mom’s recovery, please do.

I felt bad after I wrote my last post, it seemed to make my husband sad.  I didn’t mean it as a bad post, like I was bashing him.  I know that he is still going to have moments where he shows the alcoholic that he still is, and I also know that he is a loving caring person and he is a work in progress.  We both are, is about progress not perfection.  I was just trying to express that I was still a bit lonely and know that he has to deal with things in his own way.

I love my husband more than words can even say.  I never want to show him in a bad light, cause the person he is now is not the person he used to be.


If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does to0!