Archive for August, 2012


Monday…

Three strips of Oscar Mayer brand turkey bacon...

Three strips of Oscar Mayer brand turkey bacon cooking in a skillet. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.  Mine was somewhat Uneventful.  For the most part we just did our normal hanging out at the house.  Saturday morning Mom and I got our nails done, she is able to go back to work today(Monday) so I know she was going to be in a good mood this weekend.  We did some grocery shopping after that and then I got home and rested.  We went and visited with a friend who we had not seen in a while.  Well, more like a few months.

Sunday involved our tradition of making turkey bacon, hubby cooks that.  Then I make the mini biscuits and some yummy country-style gravy.  After that were had our nice food comas on the sofa watching TV for a while.  Hubby had a lunch meeting, then we had dinner at my parent’s, got home and he left for his meeting.

I spent some of the weekend laid up on the sofa after Dozer kicked me in my right knee.  I should have had surgery on both of my knees years go but that required time off work and someone to take care of me.  Well at the time the person who would have been taking care of me was an active alcoholic and would have also had to take time off work.  So I have gone many years now with just dealing with the pain.  Saturday Dozer nailed me right in my knee cap.  Felt a little sore that night – but Sunday it hurt to walk around on it.  Today is not that bad, but then again I kinda just deal with it.  Just like my migraines, I just go one with life.
Anyways – I hope you all had an awesome weekend and blessed upcoming week.

Advertisements

Things from the News…

Well here we go again – Country singer Randy Travis got in trouble with the law again last night after getting involved in an argument between a husband and wife in a church parking lot in Plano, Texas.

A police spokesman told ET the altercation occurred last night around 11 p.m., resulting in Travis being cited for simple assault, a Class C misdemeanor, which in Texas can range from an unwanted touch to physical contact not resulting in injury. Medical personnel were dispatched to the scene, but none of the individuals involved wanted to be transported to the hospital.

RELATED: Randy Travis Arrest: The 911 Call

Contrary to some reports, the police spokesman said that officers had no reason to believe that Travis was intoxicated at the time of the incident. Earlier this month, police found the 53-year-old crooner lying naked on a street after being involved in a one vehicle accident. In addition to a misdemeanor of driving while intoxicated charge, Travis was also booked on a felony charge of retaliation after police said he made “threats to shoot and kill the troopers working the case.”

http://wonderwall.msn.com/music/randy-travis-has-new-run-in-with-police-1701174.story

Travis performs "Three Wooden Crosses"

Travis performs “Three Wooden Crosses” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sticky-Quotes.com

Being to
understand
your own
self worth.

View original post

“Carry On”

FUN. LYRICS

“Carry On”

Well I woke up to the sound of silence
the cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight
and I found you with a bottle of wine
your head in the curtains
and heart like the Fourth of July

You swore and said
“We are not
We are not shining stars”
This I know
I never said we are

Though I’ve never been through hell like that
I’ve closed enough windows
to know you can never look back

If you’re lost and alone
Or you’re sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

So I met up with some friends
at the edge of the night
At a bar off 75
And we talked and talked
about how our parents will die
All our neighbors and wives

But I like to think
I can cheat it all
To make up for the times I’ve been cheated on
And it’s nice to know
When I was left for dead
I was found and now I don’t roam these streets
I am not the ghost you are to me

If you’re lost and alone
Or you’re sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Whoa
My head is on fire
But my legs are fine
After all they are mine
Lay your clothes down on the floor
Close the door
Hold the phone
Show me how
No one’s ever gonna stop us now

Cause we are
We are shining stars
We are invincible
We are who we are
On our darkest day
When we’re miles away
Sun will come
We will find our way home

If you’re lost and alone
Or you’re sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

 

Just for today…

~ Just For Today ~

Just for today…   I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once.  I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today…   I will be happy.  This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “most folks are as happy as they make their minds up to be.”

Just for today…   I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.  I will take my “luck” as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today…   I will try to strengthen my mind.  I will learn something useful.  I will not be a mental loafer.  I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today…   I will exercise my soul in three ways; I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count.  I will do at least two things I don’t want to do – just for exercise.  I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today…   I will be agreeable.  I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

Just for today…   I will have a program.  I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.  I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today…   I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax.  During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today…   I will be unafraid.  Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

~ – ~

Why so negative?

Why must I always jump to something negative?  This morning I saw a Van parked halfway in a business driveway and a tire up on the sidewalk.  It looked to me like someone had started their day with a cocktail, or maybe had yet to make it home from their night of “fun.”  I instantly when to this negative thought process of, why don’t people get a DD?  Why must they put not only their own life in harm’s way but others on the road?

As I was spiraling down into my own private pissed off little world – I passed where the van was and was able to see what was really going on.  Sitting with his back against the fence was a homeless man, you could tell he was at his darkest hour.  I could read the pain and suffering on his face.  Kneeling down in front of him was a man dressed all in black with a bright white collar.  A man of faith had stopped his van to offer some comfort to a soul in need.  He had the other guys hands held tight in his grasp and his head bent in prayer.

This made me change my attitude right quickly.  I felt like I had been slapped by some spiritual hand.  Get out of your funk girl, not everything is bad.  Just cause some bad things have happened doesn’t mean that everything that happens is somehow bad.  Even if I don’t get my way, even if I don’t get the answer that I want, and even if I am missing out something I want to do – it is not the right time for those things and the powers that be (who know better than me) are guiding me to where I need to be.

I took Monday and Tuesday off work due to feeling very under the weather.  Last week we rolled out some new software at work and it didn’t go as to plan.  I work Tech support phones so you know who got the brunt of the pissed off end users who were dealing with pissed off people they were trying to take care of.  I try very hard not to take what they say to heart, but for some reason on Monday and Tuesday of last week it was a little on the impossible side.  I had a really hard time on Monday.

I forgot to HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) I was all of those things and I was also in pain and that always adds to those.  I am in pain about 80% of the time so you think I would be able to control myself while in pain.  But when you add all of those other things, being overwhelmed and in a lot of pain (migraine) it will make for a very unstable Courtney.  I was angry, mad, explosive.  I did a pretty good job of not taking it out on the end users, cause well it was not their fault.  (mostly) However, I was not as calm after I hung up from someone who was just not grasping what it was she should have been doing.  I am not a trainer, I do not know all the work flows and I can only go off of the information I was given.  This happened to be the same study guide that she was reading from.  I calmly asked her to talk to her supervisor after I just could not get her to understand what she should have been doing next and she got very upset with me and started to yell at me.  I again asked her to get her supervisor.  After the call was over I put my phone on the hook very calmly.  I then picked it up and slammed down the handset about 4 times.  I felt much better after that, till I realized that the director of my department had seen it.  He had me stand up and slow dance with him for a few seconds and it made me laugh.  That was just what I needed.  Him and I have always been able to talk about things, he knows all of what I went through this past year and I know a lot of what he has been through with his own struggles.

It seemed that I was starting down this path of being pissy.  Even my boss asked me if I was OK cause I looked stressed.  HA!  Stressed – who me?  How could I be stressed with 10 voice mails at any given point during the day, screaming end users and a lot of IM‘s and emails to deal with – who could be stressed with all of that?  So they could tell just by looking at me, hmmm….something has to change.  I decided that I could only fix one thing at a time.  Like in recovery, one day at a time – one step at a time.  I would just take one call at a time – If there was voice mails I would deal with them one at a time.  If I got a lot of them, I started to hand them out to the guys.  It worked and I was able to stay calm.

My husband told me about the three D’s.

Do

Delegate

Drop it

You need to do it if you can.  Delegate if you can’t.  Drop it if it is out of your hands.

It helps me not stress about things that are no longer in my hands.  If I turned it over to someone else then I need to let them deal with it.  Now with my job I do have to check back on things to make sure that they are taken care of, due to the nature of the business that I am in.  But I need to not stress about it anymore.  I turned things over to the guys and let them deal with them.  I handled what I could and took it just one at a time.  My Wed, Thursday and Friday went much better than the first part of the week.  I had some back pain and just pushed it off as stress.  As the weekend showed up I felt like crap and spent a lot of my time just being lazy.  Sunday morning I woke up very early to the feeling that I was going to be sick and that feeling was very right.  I ran to the other end of the house to the front bathroom and thought I was going to die.  After what felt like an  hour, I returned to bed to find everyone still soundly sleeping.  (hubby and the three furry kids)

So I spent most of Sunday being very careful of my movements, my back hurt but again I pushed it off as something else.  I planned on going to bed early but didn’t quite get there.  It was a very storm night so it took me a while to get to sleep.  When 5am Monday morning hit and the alarm went off, I knew that there was no way I was going to make it in.  I had taken the medication I have for the sick feeling that comes with migraines Sunday night.  It’s a narcotic and makes you very loopy and sleepy.  So when I woke up I still felt it in my system.  I knew work was going to be slammed with calls again but I had to take care of myself.  I have health issues and have not always taken care of myself.  That was part of being co-dependent.  The first sign of co-dependance is the lack of taking care of one’s self.  That was me for sure.

So I called in, (I also had to call Verizon tech support to fix txting on our phones, stopped working on Friday and needed a land line to call from)  spent the day on the sofa.  I did go see my mom for a bit and used her phone to make a few calls.  (wow I turned this into a “make a long story LONGER” thing) So anyways by the time I woke up on Tuesday the pain in my back had gone to my kidney.  I had stopped taking care of myself again.  I had not been drinking as much water as I should have been and living in the sand all my life you would think I would know better.  I have had many kidney infections due to this very reason.

So I slammed the cranberry juice and water and made it back to work today.  So now that I have made this post longer than I had set out to do, I will end with this.

Take care of yourself first.

Stop being negative.

Remember to HALT.

Drink lots of water!

And as always:

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

 

Prayer of Saint Francis…

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

Open Letter from the Alcoholic, from the pamphlet: Three Views of Al-Anon (P15)

 

I am an alcoholic. I need your help.

Don’t lecture, blame or scold me. You wouldn’t be angry with me for having cancer or diabetes. Alcoholism is a disease, too.
Don’t pour out my liquor; it’s just a waste because I can always find ways of getting more.
Don’t let me provoke your anger. If you attack me verbally or physically, you will only confirm my bad opinion about myself. I hate myself enough already.
Don’t let your love and anxiety for me lead you into doing what I ought to do for myself. If you assume my responsibilities, you make my failure to assume them permanent. My sense of guilt will be increased, and you will feel resentful.
Don’t accept my promises. I’ll promise anything to get off the hook. But the nature of my illness prevents me from keeping my promises, even though I mean them at the time.
Don’t make empty threats. Once you have made a decision, stick to it.
Don’t believe everything I tell you; it may be a lie. Denial of reality is a symptom of my illness. Moreover, I’m likely to lose respect for those I can fool too easily.
Don’t let me take advantage of you or exploit you in any way. Love cannot exist for long without the dimension of justice.
Don’t cover up for me or try in any way to spare me the consequences of my drinking. Don’t lie for me, pay my bills, or meet my obligations. It may avert or reduce the very crisis that would prompt me to seek help. I can continue to deny that I have a drinking problem as long as you provide an automatic escape for the consequences of my drinking.
Above all, do learn all you can about alcoholism and your role in relation to me. Go to open AA meetings when you can. Attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read the literature and keep in touch with Al-Anon members. They’re the people who can help you see the whole situation clearly.

I love you.
Your Alcoholic

H.A.L.T…..

 

H – Hungry

A – Angry

L – Lonely

T – Tired

Being too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, are conditions that leave us more vulnerable to the temptations that lead us away from our program of dual recovery. Part of recovery is learning to pay attention to these inner signals and practice appropriate ways to meet our needs and resolve issues in a manner that will enhance our abstinence and serenity.

Why am I so upset?  Why did I say that?  Why did I do that? Whats wrong with me? 

What I should be asking myself is “halt?”  Am I Hungry?  Am I Angry?  Am I Lonely?  Am I Tired?  If I said yes to any of these than what comes out of my mouth may not be the nicest statement.  I might hurt someone with my harsh words, I might hurt myself by letting someone belittle my own feelings, I might let all that bad stuff in because I forgot to take care of my self.  I have to take care of me.  I can not be of any help to anyone, especially myself if I have not taken care of me.

Next few posts will be more on remembering to take care of ourselves first.

 

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

 

Feedback…

Becky's Bad Dates....

Why Did I Shave My Legs For This?!?!

Inside Kel's Kitchen

Love to eat, love to cook, and trying to keep it healthy!

Holly Brockwell

Writer, founder, influencer

Hugh's Views & News

A man with dyslexia writing about this and that and everything else!

the harmonious two

stories & dreams from a couple of music lovers

kelsurfs

Please follow my actual food blog at https://insidekelskitchen.wordpress.com!

Logical Quotes

Logical and Inspirational quotes

songsfortheday

posting a song each day you should hear.

I Was A Foster Kid

About growing up in the foster care system

House of Kellen

Energy healing and Rune Reading

Homemade with Mess

who wants life to be tidy when you can have more fun making a mess??!

YARNutopia by Nadia Fuad

All things Yarn Related: Crochet, DIY, and Crafts

Chronic Pain Cockney - The Little Things

Living with Chronic (in fact, daily) Migraine, IIH & Chiari is tough. Sometimes I blog about it; other times I indulge my love of pretty things & review beauty products instead.

Sleeping Geeks

Sleep by Day - Geek by Night

random rants ruminations ramblings

different times, different thoughts

Crochet with Raymond

The mad adventures of a lesbi@n hooker and her siamese cat!

Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

Smart Discount Shop

Discover all the creative and ingenious ways to save money !