Archive for October, 2012


Just leaving Devereux…lots of info got our wheels turning.  So much to think about.  Sweet people and met a foster parent who is in our area.  He had wonderful advice.  Got our foot in the door…will take a bit of time to let this all sink in.  Keep you all posted.  Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room’s only window

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.

Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats.. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, ‘Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.’

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.

‘Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present .’

http://www.globalone.tv/profiles/blogs/shift-your-perspective-in-37

If something was broken, we would fix it…

My husband and I had something that was broken – so we are fixing it.  Our marriage has never been this strong.  It has not been easy – but nothin worth doing ever is.

Coping with negative self-talk or self-criticism

Starting now, I am committing to befriending myself for a week. For each bout of negative self-talk I notice, I will answer my criticism as if I were talking to a loved one. I will pay attention to how I feel emotionally and if my attitude toward myself changes. I’ll keep notes and let you know how it goes. Will you join me in this experiment of positive self-talk?

Coping with negative self-talk or self-criticism.

I get down on myself a lot with my migraines.  I say I am sorry a lot for things I didn’t get done or the best one – I say I am sorry for crying.  Wow really!  I get down on myself so much that I feel the need to say I am sorry for crying cause it hurts that much.  I might be the guilt that causes me to cry, not sure – all I know is I feel guilty, I feel horrible that I cry and that I have laid on the sofa for a few hours.  My husband and I have had some good talks about it.  He told me what makes me crazy the most is that I will sit there and suffer for a while before I give in and take my meds.  First off – I only get 18 doses a month and that costs me $200 – that’s with health insurance and a discount from the manufacturer.  so its hard for me to just take it all the time.  Secondly they make my stomach hurt the next day.  And thirdly – I convince myself that I might get it to go away without meds.  Even my Dr – who thank God has migraines too so she understands – tells me that she says to everyone “take your meds when it starts” but she doesn’t follow her own rules.  She too gets her self to believe that she can make it go away.  We try all out little tricks to see if any of them will work this time – them we give in and take our meds.  Or at least that’s what I do.

 

This is also featured on my other blog: Court’s Royal Corner

11 Things Everyone Needs You to Know

11 Things Everyone Needs You to Know.

Here are 11 things we all need you to keep in mind…

  1. You never really know how much the people around you are hurting.  You could be standing next to someone who is completely broken inside and you wouldn’t even know it.  So never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have.  And remember that there are two ways to spread light in this world: You can either be a flame of hope, or a mirror that reflects it.  Be one of the two every chance you get.  Read The Four Agreements.
  2. The most important trip you will likely take in life is meeting others half way.  You will achieve far more by working with people, rather than against them.  Giving someone else a voice, and showing them that their ideas matter, will have a long-lasting, positive impact on the both of you.
  3. Relationships don’t create happiness, they reflect it.  Happiness is an inside job.  Relationships are simply the mirrors of your happiness; they reflect it and help you celebrate it.  They are mirrors because they are a perfect reflection of your thoughts and beliefs.  To reflect means to encourage you when you feel weak and challenge you when you feel strong, thereby returning you to your center.  And to celebrate is to share the natural ease and joy of living from your center – of living in the now with clarity.
  4. Compassion comes back around.  The son who tends to his chronically ill mother, ignoring his own exhaustion; the neighbor who gives a helping hand, even as his own needs go unanswered; the one who donates a couple dollars to someone in need, even if she has to break her last five dollar bill to do it.  Maybe you don’t hear the names of these unsung heroes in the news, but surely the universe hears their names and treats them accordingly.
  5. Timing is everything.  There is a time for silence, a time to let go and allow your friends to launch themselves into their own destiny, and a time to cheer for their victories, or help them pick up the pieces, when it’s all over.  Read The Friendship Factor.
  6. Actions are the loudest form of communication.  What you do speaks so loud that others will have a hard time hearing what you say.  So practice what you preach or don’t preach at all – walk the talk.  And remember that there is often a major gap between what someone says and what they do.  Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words.
  7. A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows open.  Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped.  Relationships thrive in this environment.  Keep your doors and windows open.  If a person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world won’t make them leave.
  8. People are more what they keep silent than what they say.  Pay attention to their quiet gestures.  If you cannot understand someone’s silence, you will have a hard time understanding their words.  Read The Definitive Book of Body Language.
  9. What others say and do is often based entirely on their own self-reflection.  When you have people speaking to you who are angry and upset, and you nevertheless remain very present and continue to treat them with kindness and respect, you place yourself in a position of great power.  You become a means for the situation to be graciously diffused and healed.  A Zen teacher once said, “When somebody backs themselves into a corner, look the other way until they get themselves out; and then act as though it never happened.”  Allowing people to save face in this way, and not reminding them of what they already know is not their most intelligent behavior, is an act of great kindness.  This is possible when we realize that people behave in such ways because they are in a place of great suffering.  People react to their own thoughts and feelings and their behavior often has nothing directly to do with you.
  10. Sincerity is giving without expectation.  Good character and true friendship is all about how a person nurtures another person who is vulnerable and can give nothing in return.  So when you have been through tough times and come out the other side, look around you.  The people still standing beside you are your true friends.
  11. Not every relationship is meant to last forever.  Some people aren’t meant to stay in your life.  Some people are just passing through to bring you something – perhaps a lesson you need to learn, or memory that makes you smile years later.  When the time comes, it’s okay to let go and move on with your life.

Love life…

 

Thursday…

I think this is the first Thursday night that i will not be at a meeting.  I stayed home sick today due to some digestive issues from trying acorn squash for the first time.  I know now that i can’t eat it…lesson learned.  Also just not feeling quite up to my meeting tonight.  My husband is also not feeling his meeting tonight.  Maybe we need to branch out, find meetings with new people.  Maybe we need a little break in the repetitiveness that has become our meetings lately.  I am not really sure what it is.  I do know that I am still committed to my recovery.  I am still supportive of my husbands recovery.  And I know we are still very much in love.  All I can do is live one day at a time, apply my al-anon principles to all my daily affairs and live life as it comes.  

LadyRomp

Catherine Pearson

Study after study has shown that alcohol affects women differently than men, but a new German paper finds that alcohol is particularly devastating for women who struggle with addiction.

Alcohol dependence, it concludes, is twice as deadly for women as it is for men.

According to the study, started in 1996 and published online Tuesday in the journalAlcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research, the death rate for alcohol-dependent women was more than four times that of a sample of non-addicted 18- to 64-year-olds. The death rate among alcohol-dependent men was about twice that of the general population over the 14-year study period.

On average, the alcohol-addicted men and women were about 20 years younger than members of the general population at the time of their death, explained study author Ulrich John, director of the Institute of Epidemiology and Social Medicine at University Medicine Greifswald, Germany.

He…

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A poem i found about drugs…

I saw this today and thought you might like it. The author is unknown.

DRUGS………………I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that’s just the start. I’m more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold, and if you need me, remember I’m easily found. I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door. My power is awesome; try me you’ll see, but if you do, you may never break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I’ll own your soul. When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you’ll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms. You’ll lie to your mother; you’ll steal from your dad… When you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised, I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from god, and separate from friends. I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride; I’ll be with you always, right by your side. You’ll give up everything your family, your home, your friends, your money, and then you’ll be alone. I’ll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I’m finished with you you’ll be lucky to live. If you try me be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I’ll drive you insane. I’ll ravish your body; I’ll control your mind. I’ll own you completely; your soul will be mine. The nightmares I’ll give you while lying in bed, the voices you’ll hear from inside your head, the sweats, the shakes, the visions you’ll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me, But then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You’ll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen, many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away. If you could live that day over, now what would you say? I’ll be your master; you will be my slave, I’ll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? It’s all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell…

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