Archive for January, 2013

Inspired Thoughts…4

“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” – Audrey Hepburn

I know I have posted this on my Facebook page before, but not sure if I have posted this before on here.  I have been trying to stay positive lately.  Some days its easier than others, some days I let other effect me more than I should.  Also this week I have had pain in my head pretty much every day.  The weather here went from VERY COLD and VERY dry to nice and warm to rainy in a week and a half.

I try very hard not to take my pain out on others but it really make my tolerance for things get all out of whack.  My husband and I had an awesome weekend last weekend.  We went to the Outback steak house (have to tell you about something there that outraged us) then God sent us on a route home that took us right past the place where my husband did his substance abuse class.  They lost their contract with the courts and had to close.  It just so happens we drive by as they are moving the last of their stuff out.  we swung around and stopped to offer our help.  It was the first time I got to meet them and immediately.

Is it impossible for me to find happiness even when I feel like my head is going to explode – NO!  At least I am alive to feel it.  I know that by being able to feel I am alive.  I am able to open my eyes, fill my lungs with air, take in the good and let go of the bad.  It is up to me to make this my attitude.  Some days its harder than others and its easier to blame others for my fowl mood.  But I have to remember that if i give others that power – I am handing them my serenity.  It’s not theirs to have – its mine and I have to keep it in my hands.

So – remember that you and only you can decide if today is going to be a bad day or a good day.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!


We are now signed up for our Adoption/foster care parenting class that starts March 20th!!   Wish it was sooner, but this class is at our agency that we already know and like the people there. Its want we wanted from the get go.  So in a way I am glad that the other class didn’t work out.  Its Gods way of remaining anonymous.  He knew if we waited it out a bit we would get a class that was better for us.  and with it getting out at 8:30 we will be able to get home at a better time.  I just need my dad to go over and feed the  dogs and let Dozer be out of his kennel for a while.

I am so excited to have that part done and signed up for.  Now I can work on the other things we need to get done.  Still need to clean out her room, get a dresser and get rid of an entertainment center.  My sister and my mom have already started to buy things here and there – it makes me feel so blessed.  My family is so supportive.  The person who I call our brother – his fiancé has started to save some of the clothes the their two little girls have out grown and asked them to go through their toys.  Our daughter should fit right in with their kids age group wise – so she will have other kids in our area to play with.

It’s all about having a support group that will stand behind ya through everything.  You (my readers) through your comments and reading the posts on your blogs – you have become part of my support team.

we watched an amazing movie last night (I know a movie on a week night!)  It is called “You Kill Me”

After alcoholic hit man Frank (Ben Kingsley) botches an assignment, he leaves the Polish mob family he works for to clean up the mess and relocates to San Francisco, where he dries out, gets a job at a mortuary and falls in love with Laurel (Téa Leoni). But when a rival gang threatens the family, he returns to take care of business – Netflix

MV5BMTAyMjg3NDE4MDleQTJeQWpwZ15BbWU3MDg2NzE4NDE@._V1._SY317_I really want to by this movie – it was amazing!!  They did a good job showing his emotions at his first AA meeting.  Hubby and I were laughing.  It’s a dark comedy – but we loved it.

Ben Kingsley, Téa Leoni, Luke Wilson, Dennis Farina, Philip Baker Hall, Bill Pullman, Marcus Thomas, Scott Heindl
The opening of this movie set the tone for the whole thing – I don’t want to do any spoilers – you just have to watch it!  Ben Kingsley just does an outstanding job, his expressions with his eyes are the best!!

“Life is short, and it’s up to you to make it sweet.” – Sadie Delany (American educator and civil rights pioneer)

Life is what you make it.  At our last meeting we were all handed a little red fuzzy ball.  There was a story we read that night about a lady who at her one year anniversary handed out red balls and a thank you note.  The red ball represented her serenity.   She went on in the note talking about how if she let others effect how happy or sad she was she was tossing her little red ball to them.  She was letter other take control of her serenity.

I used to lob that darn ball at people.  I would almost make them take it from me so I could balm them for my unhappiness.  Heck – I used to even say God must have just been mad at me or punishing me.  I was in a bad way.  It was just fitting that we read a story on a lady giving back the night of her one year while I was celebrating getting my one year coin that same night.  Granted it was a few weeks after my one year, but even still – things happen for a reason.

All of us in the meeting were playing with our little red fuzzy ball of serenity while we were reading the story – some were just holding it – others were petting it like it was alive.  It was neat to see how each person treated it a little different.  Here is a table full of adults and we were like little kids being handed a new toy.  We loved it and played with them – tossed them at each other (hehehehe) But we all had a very nice meeting and got a little keep sake to remind us that our serenity is our responsibility and our’s alone.

So remember don’t give anyone your little red ball!

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!!

Step work…

I feel like I need to do a little step work.

Step #1:

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

This can go for things other than alcohol.  I am trying to quit smoking right now, I have almost 14 days under my belt. (5pm today will be 14 days)  and I had to admit that i was powerless and that my life had become unmanageable.  I had let it start to rule my life.  I would plan things around being able to smoke.  it was starting to get sad and upset me.  I quit for 2 years before, I felt so dumb for starting up again.

Step #2:

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

I had to put my faith in something greater than myself to be able to let go of the smoking.  I had to let go of it, do I still have craving – OMG yes I do.  But all I have to do is catch a whiff of the smoke and I wanna run the other way.  Makes my head hurt and I feel ill.  I have felt a lot better in these 2 weeks and been pounding the water.  But I had to look towards something else for help.  For me it was the want to become a mother was grater than smoking.  It motivated me really well.

Step #3:

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

I have to ask my God to help me – help me every time I get a bad craving to do something else.  So I prayed about it and what came to mind was water.  Its something I need more of anyways and it might help with the toxins.  So when I get a bad craving – I chug the water.  replacing something bad with something good.  Its helped so far.


Those 3 steps – the Cha-Cha as we fondly call it – is the foundation of my life now.  I can use those steps to over come many things.  I am trying to use them to come to grips with the fact I can not control every aspect of these adoptions classes.  The class we wanted we waited too long to sign up for.  and the ones that are left for Jan and Feb and March are not close to our house.  We live outside of the city and all they classes are towards the middle of town.  I have to let go and not get so warped out of shape over the fact that I can’t just take the class where I want to when I want to.  I wanted to call up the center for the class and beg that they let us in.  But there must be a reason God said “not that one my child.”  I may not like what He has to say – and I might not understand why He did it.  (But that’s ok.) It’s not in my control.  I may never know either why He didn’t want us in that class.  That’s in His hands.

There is a christian based class that we can take – doesn’t bother me that its religion based like it might others – it’s just the timing on getting both of us there for it.  There are some that start in March as well.  it would be nice if Hubby had his new job soon and that way we would not have to worry about his current boss trying to make it to where he can’t leave on time.  We have missed a few Thursday night meetings due to that issue. Oh well, some people are just unwilling to have compassion or understanding.  But that is something they have to sort out for themselves.  All I can do if fix me, I can’t fix others.

So keep us in your thoughts as you do your daily prayers – we quit smoking and are working on becoming parents.  My Sober hubby has just over a year and a half under his belt and life just keeps getting better by the day.  Better, not easier – don’t confuse the two.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!!

The happiest people do not have the best of everything.  They make the best of everything they have.

My Parents have had a sign in their house that even when I was very, very little I always liked.  It said:

I have done so much, for so long, with so little, I can do anything with nothing.

I love that sign!

Inspired Thoughts…2

“Feeling insecure is good for you.  It forces you to do something better, use all you talents.” – Helen Brown (editor and chief of Cosmopolitan Magazine for 32 years)

Not sure if I agree with this one or not – but it got me thinking – how can I use feeling insecure about something for the better?  If I am not sure about something, I look it up.  When I was 15 and wanted to talk to the cute new boy who just moved in next door – did I let the shyness and fear I felt inside show? NO!  Did I let him see how I felt I was too young for him or not pretty enough for him? NO!  I showed him an awkward funny girl who wanted to be his friend and who was fun to hang out with.  I turned my shyness into something else.  An wouldn’t ya know…14 years later I am still that awkward funny girl and he is still hanging out with me!  (that was my husband for those of you who didn’t guess it)

Can I do this all the time – Hell no!   I used to keep my head down and look at my feet when I was in a store so no one would look me in the face.  I didn’t want them to see my sadness, my fear, my anger – what every it was I was feeling – I didn’t want them to see it.  But now – I can smile at everyone, say Hello, look up and see the world around me.  With a clearer mind and thoughts, I can now turn those poor self-image thoughts into trying to be a better person – for myself – no one else.

So I guess I can agree with this statement, it just struck me a little strange when I first read it.  What are your thoughts?

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!!

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.  If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey

I am trying to be more thankful for what I have rather than be mad about what others have that I don’t.  In my depression and co-dependent thinking it was easy for me to do the Why me? I NEED that thing, so I MUST have it!  I didn’t need what ever that was.  My wants and needs were all messed up.  I know its been a while since we did any real step work and I am working on that – so over the next few days look out for Step 1 – and a few more inspired thoughts… I know I need them!

If you would like to ask any questions – please feel free to do so in the comments or by emailing me at  If you email me and I post your question – I will remember to save your anonymity and not share names.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!!

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