I feel like I need to do a little step work.

Step #1:

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

This can go for things other than alcohol.  I am trying to quit smoking right now, I have almost 14 days under my belt. (5pm today will be 14 days)  and I had to admit that i was powerless and that my life had become unmanageable.  I had let it start to rule my life.  I would plan things around being able to smoke.  it was starting to get sad and upset me.  I quit for 2 years before, I felt so dumb for starting up again.

Step #2:

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

I had to put my faith in something greater than myself to be able to let go of the smoking.  I had to let go of it, do I still have craving – OMG yes I do.  But all I have to do is catch a whiff of the smoke and I wanna run the other way.  Makes my head hurt and I feel ill.  I have felt a lot better in these 2 weeks and been pounding the water.  But I had to look towards something else for help.  For me it was the want to become a mother was grater than smoking.  It motivated me really well.

Step #3:

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

I have to ask my God to help me – help me every time I get a bad craving to do something else.  So I prayed about it and what came to mind was water.  Its something I need more of anyways and it might help with the toxins.  So when I get a bad craving – I chug the water.  replacing something bad with something good.  Its helped so far.

 

Those 3 steps – the Cha-Cha as we fondly call it – is the foundation of my life now.  I can use those steps to over come many things.  I am trying to use them to come to grips with the fact I can not control every aspect of these adoptions classes.  The class we wanted we waited too long to sign up for.  and the ones that are left for Jan and Feb and March are not close to our house.  We live outside of the city and all they classes are towards the middle of town.  I have to let go and not get so warped out of shape over the fact that I can’t just take the class where I want to when I want to.  I wanted to call up the center for the class and beg that they let us in.  But there must be a reason God said “not that one my child.”  I may not like what He has to say – and I might not understand why He did it.  (But that’s ok.) It’s not in my control.  I may never know either why He didn’t want us in that class.  That’s in His hands.

There is a christian based class that we can take – doesn’t bother me that its religion based like it might others – it’s just the timing on getting both of us there for it.  There are some that start in March as well.  it would be nice if Hubby had his new job soon and that way we would not have to worry about his current boss trying to make it to where he can’t leave on time.  We have missed a few Thursday night meetings due to that issue. Oh well, some people are just unwilling to have compassion or understanding.  But that is something they have to sort out for themselves.  All I can do if fix me, I can’t fix others.

So keep us in your thoughts as you do your daily prayers – we quit smoking and are working on becoming parents.  My Sober hubby has just over a year and a half under his belt and life just keeps getting better by the day.  Better, not easier – don’t confuse the two.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!!

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