Archive for February, 2013


http://www.sobernation.com/nicotine-dependency-an-evil-in-disguise/

So I got home last night and I open the back door into our laundry room and everything that was on the counter by the back door is on the floor.  Speakers and cans of paint, a blanket, a few empty boxes and a stack of junk mail.  There stands Portia in the middle of the mess.  My first thought was OMG we got broke into!  Then I hear the smoke alarm chirp letting me know the battery was dead.  Portia losses her mind and cries and jumps up and down.  She must have gone nuts when it started to chirp.  She also chewed up a box and chewed on the junk mail.  She must have been trying to get out the window.

I almost took a picture of the mess, but thought it best just to clean it all up and get the batteries changed in the alarm before she had a heart attack.  She used to have separation anxiety really bad but I thought she was over it.  She was abused as a very little puppy before we got her.  We got her at 8 weeks old so that tells you what kind of monsters had her before us.

Please keep my husband in your prayers, things on our life might be changing here really soon.  And this is on top of everything else going on.  The adoption classes start on the 20th, we have to go get our finger print cards and still get the house ready for a munchkin.  I was told this weekend that we don’t have to buy booster seats cause a good friend of ours doesn’t need the two for her daughter anymore.  and they are pink, YAY!  Hehehehehe…yes the hubby will have a pink booster seat in the back seat of his monster truck, and you know what…he loves the idea.  He has wanted a daughter for as long as I have known him.  We always talked about having a daughter named Hailey.  I guess it’s up to God now to know what our daughter’s name will be.

If you want to keep up with our adoption/foster care journey, please take a short jaunt over to We Wished for You    That is where I will be doing most of the updates for that cheaper of our life.  Trying to keep each subject separate.

Alcohol and Cancer…

Study supports alcohol, breast cancer link – Harvard Health Publications.

I never thought to try to relate to the traditions on a personal level.  I just thought they were for my Al-Anon group, not my family group.  Last night that all changed when we talked about Tradition 2.

Tradition 2:

For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as He may express Himself  in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

My husband was the all and mighty word in our house hold for a long time.  Anything he said went, even if I knew it was 100% wrong or the messed up thing to do.  I was to follow my husband in every endeavor.  Well with the help of Al-Anon I learned that I have a higher power, and it is not my husband.  I do love him and will support him.  But I will not support him in a way that will cause myself harm.  I will not support him in and endeavor that will cause himself harm.  I will support him with love and encouragement to be the wonderful loving man I know he is.

Now that we are both recovery people we can talk in a shared language.  Our slogans and saying in AA and Al-Anon are very similar so we can talk on a deeper level now than ever before.  We are not perfect, we are a work in progress.  I am not sure who my husband looked to as a Higher Power – I know his father was for most of his life.  My father-in-laws attitude was “I don’t put the fear of God in my children, because God doesn’t live here.  I live here and they will fear me!”  And fear him they did.  I am sorry, I may not be a mother yet – but I do not feel that Fear is the way I want to raise my children.  I want to instill in my child a love and respect for not only me and her father, but a love and respect for herself and her God.

We were not very church going people growing up, and the only church thing my husband and I have done together is a Marriage 911 class we took at a Local church.  I would go to church functions with all my friends growing up, my parents let me explore my religious curiosity.  They left if up to me to go to church if I wanted to.  I am all for instilling your beliefs on your children, but also give them some freedom to choose their own path.  They might respect you more for that than putting the fear of wanting something for yourself.  It took a long time to get my husband to talk openly about what he wanted or how he felt.  Hid father did a good job of trying to kill his spirit.

And its so sad because my husband has such a playful and fun way about himself when he feels safe to open up.  We laugh and play and just have the best time with each other.  That’s why I can’t wait to have a child that we can both be who we really are around.  We are young, fun and playful people who want to love and cherish our child.  Teach them its ok to reach for a goal and not quite make it.  At least you reached for it.  I want her to have parents who are just but trusted servants of God, who do not Govern.

I want her to be able to come to us with anything without fear, it unlike how my husband was raised and I feel that because he knows how the other side of that coin feels he will be able to flip it over and show her understanding and compassion he never got.  I was raised in an open household like that, but I still got in-trouble for not sticking to the plan.  I had to follow most of my parents goals for me.  But you know I think deep down I needed that tough love to get me going in life.  They were not cold like my in-laws, but they were not push overs either.  I need to find that firm but loving attitude for my own child.  I want to lead her, not rule over her.

Please feel free to share your thoughts on how you can bring Tradition 2 into your family group.

If no one has told you they love you today, I do and God does too!!

 

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what looks like 5″ of snow we got is frozen. Big rig slid off the road way on I-10. Ice reported in my area. going to wait it out safe at home for a while. Can hear people stuck in their drive ways and the sound of cars sliding on ice down our street. This is not normal for us desert rats..LOL!

http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/static/hazeldensocialabout.view

http://myfox8.com/2013/02/17/mindy-mccready-dead-of-apparent-suicide-according-to-report/

Bright, shiny objects!

I ‘discovered’ Dr. Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion reading Brene Brown’s book ‘Daring Greatly’. What is it?

Here’s her TEDx talk on the topic:

Full story [including self-test] at: Self-compassion – A Healthier Way of Relating to Yourself.

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It’s funny how someone had the same thought I did today. This is God’s way of remaining anonymous.

Bright, shiny objects!

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“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.  You Really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball

I just love her and yes she was a bit cooky – but I like that about her too.  She loved herself enough not to hide away that side.  🙂  I let my cooky side out every now and then – does it make people laugh yes, but as long as I am laughing too that means no one is laughing at me.  If ya can’t laugh at yourself then life is no longer fun.  Life is hard, but ya gotta laugh and love yourself.  If you don’t love who you are, how the heck do ya expect someone else to?

When I no longer loved who I was, and I didn’t think God loved me anymore and I thought my husband had stopped loving me – my world was dark and scary.  But when I took a step back, looked deep inside of me and saw that I loved myself and I was a child of God who was loved by Him.  I also saw that I had done nothing to cause my husband to stop loving me, if he had then that was him and not me.  But I knew that he loved me, he was just too sick to be able to express it in a constructive way.  We have some so far since those days.

I now love who I am, I am not perfect, I am not always on top of my game – but I am me and that’s just fine by me.  For those who are still suffering from rejected love, it doesn’t matter if you are the addict or the other side of the coin – you have to love yourself first before you can let someone else love you.

If no one has told you they love you today (tell yourself that you love you!) I love you and God does too!

 

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