Category: Polls


Happy Valentine’s Day…

“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”
~ Author Unknown ~

Hello My Name is Courtney, and I am in love with a recovering alcoholic.  He is in love with a recovering a Co-dependent.  We each have our own programs to help us and we have gone to meetings together to get a better understanding of where the other one is coming from.  It was difficult to sit there helpless while the person I loved was killing themselves.

On this day of love, please take time to tell the people you care about that you love them.  You don’t have to blow a bunch of money on gifts – but spend time with them, have dinner at home, make it together.  Go out just the two of you, or as a family if you have children.

Feedback…

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

I am very sorry about how tardy I am in getting this post done, but I have been very ill for the past week.  I have had to miss almost a week of work and have been working from home.

This step scares me, I am not sure even where to start.  I want to get the book “blue print for progress”  I think it will be better for me to have a guide vs staring at a blank piece of paper.  I do that almost every morning when I start to write these posts, but its a little different.  It’s hard for me to explain.  Moral inventory, that involves diving deep within myself and exposing all the bad with the good  I was told that every time you do set 4 it’s like peeling an onion, you go a little deeper each time.  Remember these steps are not just a one time deal.  They are something I will be working on for the rest of my life.  I have yet to find a AA or AL-Anon book with the 12 steps page either torn out or with perforations.  It’s not something that you just run through once and your are good to go.

I know someone who has been working on their step 4 for almost a year now.  There is no time limit, there is not rules as to what you have to put down.  It’s all on how far you can go at this time.  I was told that each time I go through the book “blue print for progress” write it in the book in pencil or write it on other paper, but date it so when you do the step again you can re-read the other stuff you wrote and see how much you have grown.

 

goodnight…

Goodnight step 2 and tomorrow we will say hello to step 3.  I didn’t want to say goodbye to step 2, cause I will never be done with each step.  The steps are something that I will work over and over, I will not get the true meaning the first time.  I know that just like the books I reread or the movies I re-watch, I will pick up something new each time.  I hear it from the members in my home group and I know that is what is in my heart.

So just as I did for step 1, here is my poll for step 2.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

7 months

My husband has been sober for 7 months now – I am so proud of him.  He gets his next chip at 9 months, I was at his AA meeting when he got his 6 month chip.  I will be there for his 9 month one too if he wants.  Each Chip represents a goal reached, and each reached Goal is something to be celebrated.  When he reaches his one year – I might just have to put together a party for him.  If anyone would like to Share a Goal or a sober birth-date please feel free to send them to chipinmyheart2011@gmail.com or post them in a comment.  If you send an email please note if you would like them posted on the blog and I will get it added to the mail bag page.  I would love to start filling that page but need some fan mail first 😉 *hint*hint*

My dad is going to make a display board for his chips, I think it will look very nice hanging up in our house.  He thought he had lost his chip when he had to go down town and go through the metal detector scanner thing.  His 6 month chip is the same color as the bins that you put your stuff in.  After a little bit of time he realized that the coin was missing.  He went back to where the scanner was and asked the lady running it if she had found a blue coin.  She handed him the coin and with a big smile on her face told him “congratulations”   It was nice of a stranger to say something like that to him, he had a big smile on his face telling me about it.

People have mixed reactions when he talks about his recovery or all that he has been doing for his recovery – some are happy and some get uncomfortable.  Maybe they feel they have an issue but don’t want to talk about it, maybe they have a relative that had a problem with addiction.  Not sure, and its not my place to wonder or ask.  All we can do is make sure they know that we are open about talking about it and we are willing to take who ever would like to join us to a meeting.  I had someone very close join me on my first Al-Anon meeting and would be more than willing to have someone come with me if they want to see what it is all about.  I am sure my husband feels the same way with his AA meetings.

Thursdays – love them!

Thursdays have become my favorite day!  ok, ok…almost my favorite day.  I enjoy Sundays with my hubby.  But Thursdays are meeting nights, Hubby goes to AA and I go to Al-Anon.  I have been so tired lately, but before I go to the meeting I get so excited and then when I leave I have this calm energy.  Find a meeting, reach out, it helps so much.  You are not alone, you don’t have to be in the cold darkness of loneliness anymore.  Even if your addict doesn’t want help, you need your own recovery, your own peace of mind.  We help each other and there is strength in numbers my friends.  If people stop coming that means I don’t get my Al-anon meeting and I will be rather upset.  so please – find a group and get some help, offer some help, just come and listen.  go to an Open AA meeting.  If you are an addict and reading my blog then you are looking for help and I am proud of you.  Find an AA meeting and see what it is all about.  I had mixed feelings before I went to my first open AA meeting.

I didn’t need to go, I don’t have an issue.  Just listening, hearing the stories about nights that I lived through was like watching a remake of my home movies with other actors.  The feelings I had were not strange and I was not alone.  Even in the AA meeting I felt a kinship with them.  They didn’t look at me different cause I was not there as an addict but as the spouse.  They welcomed me just as they do everyone.  I felt at ease, welcome, they were thankful I was there.  It was a wonderful feeling.  I then knew why my husband wanted to go as much as he could.

Then it was my turn, time for my first meeting and I was so nervous.  meeting new people is sometimes over whelming.  But again I walked into the door with an open mind and heart, I was not let down.  They hugged me and welcomed me.  I found a group of people who hurt like I did, but they had what I wanted.  Serenity!  I now found mine, in Al-Anon and with my group members.  Now I need to find a sponsor.  That may not sound scary, but the unknown scares me a bit.  Who, how, where, when….Who can I trust, How to I ask them, where do I even start, When am I ready??? 

 

Meeting tonight!

Tonight is my Al-Anon meeting night.  I feel so good on Thursdays, I am excited before I go to my home group and then I feel relaxed and calm after.   It is like a feeling of being so happy by being surrounded by others who feel the same as I do.  They understand me, they don’t judge me.  I got my One Day at a Time book, and got a cover for it.  I made a cover by Crochet and then I bought a Bible cover that has pockets and a zipper.  It is too big for my book, but I can put a note-book in it as well as my book.  I can carry a tissue pouch and some cash for the donation box at my meeting.  The front pocket is big enough for my phone.

 

Late Nights

It’s funny that back when my husband drank and we would be out with friends, I could stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning.  I could still get up no later than 7am and take care of the household.  Now, no way!  We are in bed early, up early (sometimes we get to sleep in till almost 8am) I can sleep all night and most mornings feel rested.  Still have stress in our life so some nights are still late or not as restful.  But overall a better sleeping arrangement.  I get about 6 maybe even 7 hrs of sleep.  I would like a full 8 but that never seems to happen.  I used to get like 4 or 5 hrs. 

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