Tag Archive: Cha-cha-cha (dance)


Reflections…

I read something in one of the daily readings that was about how a lady saw the refection of her hanging lamp in her glass coffee table.  She said the longer she looked at it the more the Ceiling looked like the floor and the hanging lamp looked like a floor lamp.  It hit her that maybe she was blinded by all the little nasty things her husband had done and was forgetting the good things.  I know how she feels, I would tell people only the good things my hubby would do for me.  They would tell me how sweet he sounds and how wonderful he must be.  And when he was doing those nice things he was wonderful!

The longer I sat there and thought of nothing but the darkness the more and more it seem that was all there was.  I no longer found the sweet things he did endearing, they were annoying or bothersome.  The nasty thing he did seems that much worse due to the fact that I am already only seeing the dark side of things.  I pulled back more and more, and he pushed towards being mean more and more.  I am sure that he had some misguided reflections as well.  For he no longer appreciated what I did around the house, I would make dinner and it was never what he wanted or not cooked the way he wanted it to be.  He missed the fact that I was willing to come home after a 9 hour day and cook and clean.  He never asked me to do his laundry or even said he was running low, he just assumed I would do it for him.  If I was a house wife, no problem, but I work just as long as he does everyday.  We needed to find a way to do things as a team, we had lost that partnership and were just sparing off each other.

Tomorrow is a new month, and the second month of the year so you know what that means…step 2!  I am very excited to start the next step.  It’s the next part of my cha-cha-cha dance.  1-2-3 cha-cha-cha, 1-2-3 admit believe decide.  So with the closing of the month, I pause to look inside myself.  Have I truly admitted that I was powerless over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable.  I know 100% that my life had become unmanageable and yes, I am powerless over alcohol.  I am not just saying it to make others happy or give false hope that I was getting it.  I truly believe that I am powerless over many things, especially alcohol.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

It seems I really do have some readers.  I had two comments from people I don’t even know and a few of my polls have at least 1 answer on them.  I am feeling fantastic, empowered, ready to take on the day and ready to work on the Al-anon steps.  I must take them one at a time.  There is no way to do this all at once.  ok – so here we go!!

Step 1 – We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

What word stands out to you?  The word that stands out to me is Powerless.  “what do you mean I am powerless, I can take on the world.”  This was what I thought when I looked over the steps the first time.  My husband had been in AA for about 3 months and I was not interested in going to any meetings or learning about why he drank and blah blah blah – well boy oh boy was I in for a surprise.  I was sitting there in his AA meeting listening to all the stories and what was being read from The Big Book.  Then like a knowlage baseball bat hit me in the head, my light bulb went off.  Oh my God, this was also about me!  I had just as bad of an issue with the alcohol as he did.  I was powerless over the alcohol.  I could not stop him from drinking, I could pour it out but he would just go get more.  I could yell, scream and beg – but he would go right back to it cause now he was upset or angry.  Yes – I am powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable.  Now what do I do?  How do I move on from this point?  After hearing the stories in  my home group about how they all found step one I realized something, until you get step one, this will not really take hold into your brain.  Going through the motions and coming to meetings is helpful, but unless you admit it to yourself and your higher power, you will not get it.

I have a feeling that like the other poeple in my home group, the first three steps are gonna be my 1 -2 – 3 dance.

Think of it as the cha cha.  1, 2, ,3 cha cha cha… 1, 2, 3, admit, believe, decide.

This being the first month of the year I will be going over more about step one and admitting I am powerless.

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