Tag Archive: Coin


2013 so far…

 

Yesterday I sent off the application for our adoption/foster care adventure.  Devereux Arizona is the center that we are going through, they have been so wonderful.  They guide you through each step and make sure you understand everything.

 

I think I might start yet another blog.  This one is all about recovery, so adoption stuff really has no place here.  I will post updates now and then because it is a part of our recovery.  I do have two other blogs.  I have Dozer’s blog and then my Rants and Stories blog.  Court’s Royal Corner is not the place for the adoptions stuff….so to start another blog or not to start another blog.  I know 3 blogs are hard enough…4 is crazy!  But I feel like there might be people out there who want to hear about adoption or foster care.  I know I went looking for information when we started to talk about it.  What do you all think – should I start another blog?

 

On the recovery front, I didn’t make it to my meeting last night, we tried to quit smoking and hubby is not doing as well with it.  His Job is stressful and he is worried about the projects he is doing here at the house.  I think the adoption stuff is stressing him out a bit too.  So we decided not to go last night, plus it was cold and windy – I didn’t want to leave my warm spot on the sofa.  I am sad that last month was my one year and they didn’t give me a coin.  In AA they ask who has 24 hours, 30 days, multi months, 1 years and so on…   But in my Al-Anon group they just know who has how long and in what month – it’s listed on our phone list.  Well I didn’t get mine and it hurt.  Why should I have to ask for mine?  But that is not Al-anon thinking.  So next week, I will have to figure out how to mention it in the meeting without showing the hurt that I feel inside.  I feel almost like a child, “I want my coin!” But that little round symbol is the symbol of my recovery.  To others its just a coin, but to me it is so much more.  That coin shows that I was able to stick to something, learn from others, make a life change.

 

One year in recovery for me also means one year for this blog.  That makes me so happy to think about all my readers, all of you who add comments, all the support that I have gotten, and all the support I have been able to offer.  It’s what recovery is all about to me.  The support we offer each other, the compassion for another human being who is suffering at that moment and is in need of our help.  Even if that help is just having someone say – “wow that sucks, I am sorry that happened to you”

 

I have been told I need to stop saying I am sorry for things that I have no control over.  I am not taking responsibility for the thing that happened or even trying to personalize it.  It’s just me saying “wow, that sucks and I am sorry that happened to you”  I guess I am alone in the want to have this said to me.  I wish for once someone would just say that to me.  I don’t say what is going on in my head all the time, I don’t say that I am depressed, in pain, sad, angry, upset…what have ya.  If I did I would never shut up about it.  I am in pain ALL the time, I am sad a lot, I stress about money, I stress over if hubby is happy or not, I stress over my health, over if I can pay for my medications that month or not, if we will every really become parents or not, if hubby will freak out and tell me no – tell Devereux we changed our minds.

 

What he said last night really hurt me, and I had no idea how to even tell him.  So I just dropped it.  Sometimes I have to pick my battles, and it wasn’t worth it last night.  There was no reason to engage in a fight, I just let him vent and get it off his chest.  Does it still hurt even though I try not to personalize it, hell yes.  Am I able to let go of it fully? still not able to let things go 100% yet.  But I am working on it.

 

Anyways – I hope you all have a blessed day, Keep praying that we get into the Jan 23rd class.  I love you and God does too!

 

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12 days ago was my 9th month recovery birthday.  I feel a little sad that I don’t get the same milestone celebrations as AA members do.  My Al-anon group only does the yearly coins.  I guess there are some Al-anon groups that don’t even do that…So I will just count my blessings.  I never thought those coins could mean something, but after seeing my husband get his – and other get theirs – it makes me want my own little remembrance that:

YES – I can get better.

YES – I can make it through one day at a time.

YES – I can find love, strength, hope and faith again.

YES – I can support my husband without losing myself.

I also have to remember that I don’t need for something to be recognized by someone else to have it mean more to me.  If it is important to me, then that is who I need to get recognition from.  I need to recognize my own self worth.  I also need to make sure that I gibe non solicited recognition out to my husband and others who I see make changes in their lives.  I need to say out loud that I see how far he has come in his recovery.  Him knowing that I see it and had the mind-set to say it will then show to myself and him just how far in my own recovery I have come.

So – here is my 9th month coin.  It’s a Digital one – but that’s OK  – in just 3 short months I will be getting my one year recovery coin.    If you would like your own digital chip, this is where I got mine: http://serenityfound.org/chips/chips.html

We need to have fun in recovery – we need to learn to laugh at ourselves.  I have learned to laugh and have fun – meetings don’t always have to be about sad or bad things.  I think that new comers need to hear about the good things too.  Offers them hope that they will laugh again one day.  Nothing will be posted with the intention to offend – even though that is a risk that I take with every post.  Some people may not like what I have to say, but that’s their choice.  I have a few funny things to post and then maybe do some exploring into what happens when someone has a relapse.

If you would like to post how long you have been in recovery for, your sobriety birthday, or just share words of hope for others – please feel free to do so in the comment box and as always:

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too. 

 

7 months

My husband has been sober for 7 months now – I am so proud of him.  He gets his next chip at 9 months, I was at his AA meeting when he got his 6 month chip.  I will be there for his 9 month one too if he wants.  Each Chip represents a goal reached, and each reached Goal is something to be celebrated.  When he reaches his one year – I might just have to put together a party for him.  If anyone would like to Share a Goal or a sober birth-date please feel free to send them to chipinmyheart2011@gmail.com or post them in a comment.  If you send an email please note if you would like them posted on the blog and I will get it added to the mail bag page.  I would love to start filling that page but need some fan mail first 😉 *hint*hint*

My dad is going to make a display board for his chips, I think it will look very nice hanging up in our house.  He thought he had lost his chip when he had to go down town and go through the metal detector scanner thing.  His 6 month chip is the same color as the bins that you put your stuff in.  After a little bit of time he realized that the coin was missing.  He went back to where the scanner was and asked the lady running it if she had found a blue coin.  She handed him the coin and with a big smile on her face told him “congratulations”   It was nice of a stranger to say something like that to him, he had a big smile on his face telling me about it.

People have mixed reactions when he talks about his recovery or all that he has been doing for his recovery – some are happy and some get uncomfortable.  Maybe they feel they have an issue but don’t want to talk about it, maybe they have a relative that had a problem with addiction.  Not sure, and its not my place to wonder or ask.  All we can do is make sure they know that we are open about talking about it and we are willing to take who ever would like to join us to a meeting.  I had someone very close join me on my first Al-Anon meeting and would be more than willing to have someone come with me if they want to see what it is all about.  I am sure my husband feels the same way with his AA meetings.

Sides of the coin

Acceptance – Taking The First Step In Your Addiction Recovery

This follows with what I was talking about – the first step – but in the words of an addict, the other side of the coin.  That’s what we have to remember – there are a few sides to this coin.  AA – NA – Al-Anon and Alateen.  We all have our stories and experiences and we can pull strength from each other.  I thought I would share another side of the coin.

We who are in recovery groups like AA, Al-Anon, Alateen and NA understand the power of the coin.  So that is why I speak of it often.  A coin, a chip or a medallion.  What ever you call it, it’s the symbol of our unity and our years of recovery.

My mother asks my husband “how long do you have to go to these meetings?”  umm, forever.  He will always be in recovery.  I will always be in recovery myself, and so I will also go to my meetings as much as I can.  Now that I am in program I could not picture life without it.

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