Tag Archive: Intensive care unit


Mom update…

 

Mom was able to come home on Saturday, I saw her on Sunday.  She looked much better that she did at the hospital.  She has been txting me a lot more over the last few days so I think she is getting back to her normal self.  She is supposed to see the Dr today so we shall see what they say.  I spent most of my child hood waiting to hear if my mom was going to be ok.    I will post any updates that I get and I would like to thank everyone out there who said a prayer for my mother.  She is a fighter and a survivor.

Beginning stage of Colon Cancer

beginning stage of Cervical Cancer

ulcerative colitis

addisons disease

 

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Today…

I had an awesome post typed out for today – and something happened and the wonderful world wide web ate it!  So here I go again – I will try to remember all the good things I had typed out.  I have been in recovery now for 131 days, every day it gets a little better.  Death has been all around me lately, whether it be program related or just in general.  But is saddens me when I hear of it non the less.  My self adopted family just lost his brother, cancer was a painful thing for their family.

Dealing with the thoughts that my husband could have drank himself to death had nothing been done scares me.  But I try not to let those thoughts stand in the way of the happiness that I have right at this  very moment.  That’s all I can do is live for today.  The past is the past  and things that happened yet are still up to God.  I can pray and I can ask the right questions, but I have to be willing to listen to the answers even if they are not what I want to hear.

I have a friend who is still in ICU, he is making progress and they are keeping us all posted.  Again, all I can do is pray.

as this month comes to a close I wanted to mention that I have yet to work my step 4 – I know the other ones were not like this one.  And I am not alone, I know of a few people who have been in program a long time and are still working on number 4.  I ordered blue print for progress off amazon and it should be here today.  I am also taking some classes online that my work is offering.  I started my first one on Friday, there are 15 I want to take.  In the first one, one part mentioned writing out a personal inventory of yourself – HA – that’s step 4!  How about that, it’s funny how program works for all parts of our lives.

 

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

There are two kinds of people. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Morning, Lord,” and there are those that say” Good Lord, its morning.” Every morning I wake up, I am Blessed. No matter how much drama is in my life or how much pain my body may be in, I know God is watching over me. I’m Blessed – Thank God for what you have.  I have a friend who at this very moment is in ICU after an accident, I bet his wife thanks God every time he opens his eyes.  Be thankful for every waking moment.

I think that we forget the little things in life, sometimes we take them for granted.  I know I used to complain about having to get up at 5 am and go off to work everyday.  But Really I should say “Thank God I woke up, thank God I have a job to go to and thank God I have a car to go there in.”  I take pride in what I worked hard for – I should take the same pride in doing the work in the first place.

I am at a point in my life now where death has shown its face around me enough, I have come close to loosing some people I love to bad accidents or bad circumstances.  But one thing I never forgot to do was thank God they lived.  What I did forget to do was thank Him that I lived.  But now with Prayer, with faith and with a new Self worth, I can take the first waking moments of EVERY day and say “Good morning, Lord.  Thank you for this day.”

Don’t Believe in God, that your own choice.  Its not always the beard and sandals guy I am talking to.  I know that it is God as I understand him.  My higher power is not always the same, it depends on what I am praying about.  I turn stuff over to my higher power and let them deal with it.

We watched the movie last night “life as we know it” The couple in the story dies leaving their little girl to the care of their friends.  I made me start to think about who in my life I could trust to do so.  When you make a choice like that you just have to pray that God will help them in providing the love that you would have.  I know that my furry kids would be taken care of and loved.

I pray for me, I pray for my husband, I pray for my parents, and I pray for my friends.  I can not let the trials and tribulations that my loved ones maybe going through bowl over my own feelings and needs.  But I do send up lots of prayers and send loving thoughts their way.  If I let it consume me than my own needs are not met.  For too many years I did not care for my own needs and have suffered for it.  Today I know I can care for others while still caring for myself first.

AA and Al-anon have given me these tools to be able to do this.  Sobriety and faith have given me what alcohol had promised me all those years.  To be blessed, know you are blessed and be thankful for that blessing – that to me is my serenity.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and god does too!

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