Tag Archive: Lord


I pray for you…

Dear god, I pray for those who have hatred in their hearts.  I pray that they one day find compassion for other people and learn not to lash out at those who suffer.  I pray that they find the peace and serenity that I have even with the pain that I feel on a daily basis.  I pray that you one day find a way to be truly happy.  For spreading hate and dis-contentment hurts not only those around you but also hurts yourself.  I pray that you find a way to deal with your own short comings as I have learned to ask God to remove mine. I pray that I learn how to show to others that I am grateful and am not perfect.  For this life is not about perfection, it is about progress.

There are two kinds of people. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Morning, Lord,” and there are those that say” Good Lord, its morning.” Every morning I wake up, I am Blessed. No matter how much drama is in my life or how much pain my body may be in, I know God is watching over me. I’m Blessed – Thank God for what you have.  I have a friend who at this very moment is in ICU after an accident, I bet his wife thanks God every time he opens his eyes.  Be thankful for every waking moment.

I think that we forget the little things in life, sometimes we take them for granted.  I know I used to complain about having to get up at 5 am and go off to work everyday.  But Really I should say “Thank God I woke up, thank God I have a job to go to and thank God I have a car to go there in.”  I take pride in what I worked hard for – I should take the same pride in doing the work in the first place.

I am at a point in my life now where death has shown its face around me enough, I have come close to loosing some people I love to bad accidents or bad circumstances.  But one thing I never forgot to do was thank God they lived.  What I did forget to do was thank Him that I lived.  But now with Prayer, with faith and with a new Self worth, I can take the first waking moments of EVERY day and say “Good morning, Lord.  Thank you for this day.”

Don’t Believe in God, that your own choice.  Its not always the beard and sandals guy I am talking to.  I know that it is God as I understand him.  My higher power is not always the same, it depends on what I am praying about.  I turn stuff over to my higher power and let them deal with it.

We watched the movie last night “life as we know it” The couple in the story dies leaving their little girl to the care of their friends.  I made me start to think about who in my life I could trust to do so.  When you make a choice like that you just have to pray that God will help them in providing the love that you would have.  I know that my furry kids would be taken care of and loved.

I pray for me, I pray for my husband, I pray for my parents, and I pray for my friends.  I can not let the trials and tribulations that my loved ones maybe going through bowl over my own feelings and needs.  But I do send up lots of prayers and send loving thoughts their way.  If I let it consume me than my own needs are not met.  For too many years I did not care for my own needs and have suffered for it.  Today I know I can care for others while still caring for myself first.

AA and Al-anon have given me these tools to be able to do this.  Sobriety and faith have given me what alcohol had promised me all those years.  To be blessed, know you are blessed and be thankful for that blessing – that to me is my serenity.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and god does too!

Punished…

I lost my faith for a very long time.  It was not just my faith in God, I lost faith in almost everything.  I was sure, 100% sure that God was punishing me for something.  I even told friends I felt that I was being punished for something.  But once I got my head in a better place I realized that it was self punishment.  Once I realized that the Lord wasn’t punishing me, I was able to get my faith back in a lot of things.  More and more of that faith started to rush back to me, and that’s when it hit me.  Not only had I lost my faith in things, but I am sure that others had begun to have less faith in me as well.

I had to tell myself, the Lord doesn’t punish me, just will tap me on the shoulder and say “you are not listening to me” so I stop and listen to the answers even if it is not what I want to hear.  Not all answers to our problems are pleasant ones and most of the time they are never easy either, but the right choice is hardly ever the easy choice.  Having faith back in my life is like having happiness back in my life.  They go hand in hand it seems, even though the hard times I find myself still happy as long as I keep my head up and faith in my heart.

I had lost my faith in being happy ever again, I thought “well this is my life now I better just get used to it.”  I would make dinner, clean, do laundry and all the while being yelled at that it wasn’t good enough.  So as I stopped caring and just stopped doing everything, I still got yelled at but at least I wasn’t doing the work and getting yelled at.  I immersed myself into online games, cause well there everyone seemed to love me.  No one judged me, they were all my friends.  The more distant I got from my problems the bigger and bigger they got.  The bigger they got the more I would pull away.  Again – this snow ball thing I keep going back to.  Why do I keep bringing it up, cause I had more than one snow ball fight going on that’s why.

The people who I thought were my friends were just friends cause I played the game with them, since I have stopped on one cares to check up on me.  I have started to play different games that are not just there to socialize.  Also I have started to play them with people I know in real life and I limit the amount of time I spend online.  It has helped me not spend so much time glued to a computer and have more time to spend with My Hubby.  I think now we can both feel better with the amount of time I spend online. It was something to do while I felt so alone before, now that I am not so “alone” I don’t have such a need for the distraction from reality.

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