Tag Archive: People

Approval vs Validation

The other day I had a conversation about Approval vs Validation.
ap·prov·al [uh-proo-vuhl] noun
1. the act of approving;  approbation.
2. formal permission or sanction.
val·i·date[val-i-deyt] verb, -dat·ed, -dat·ing.

1.to make valid;  substantiate; confirm: Time validated our suspicions.
2.to give legal force to; legalize.
3.to give official sanction, confirmation, or approval to, as elected officials, election procedures, documents, etc.: to validate a passport.
To me approval is something you seek out and validation is something someone gives you.  It’s OK to want the validation, I think that is healthy.  But always seeking approval to my is where the trouble lies.  Trust me when I say that I was one who always looked for approval.  Maybe it’s because I never felt like I did good enough while I was growing up.   They would always make a big deal out of the stuff my younger sister did, even though I felt that what she did was just part of being a kid.  But in a way – them doing that made me be able to self validate a bit more.  I do still find myself seeking that validation and approval.
I will ask my husband if he liked what I made for dinner, or asking if what I have on looks OK.  But when he comes out of the blue and gives me a complement it means much more than after I have asked him about it.  I was also told that if you feel that you absolutely need the validation, like it is just something that you need to have – then ask for it.  Every once in a while we need to be told that we are loved and that we are special.  The other person who you are seeking it from may not know that is something that you need.
Also remember though that the one person who we want the validation from the most – might either not be able to give it to us or might not know how – or simply care not to.  But the best person to get validation from, is our selves.  “Why should I bother to clean the bath room, he will never say thing about it.”  Well clean it because you live there and it makes you happy.  “Why make a healthy dinner when they will just complain about it?”  Cause it whats you want to eat and it’s good for you.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

The Signs are all around us…

So – not that I needed a sign to prove to me that my higher power is really there for me all the time, but I am glad they chose to show me.  I was on my way to work this morning, I was

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waiting to turn left off a main street through town.  The light turned red and the green arrow turned on signifying that it was now my turn to go.  There was a full line of cars in the left turn lane on the other side of the intersection so I could not see the other lanes of oncoming traffic.  I started to make my left had turn when I head a voice in my head yell “STOP!”  So I slammed on my breaks and just in time to see a big car go flying past me just mere inches from my front bumper.  He was really going fast – way too fast for the street we were on, and way to fast to end up in the right front fender of my explorer.  I sat there for a sec and waited for all the other cars to come to a full stop before I made my way onto the other street.  I was shaking and a little high on the adrenalin pumping thought my veins. I looked up at the Guardian Angel that is clipped on the visor of my truck and said out loud “Thank you my Higher Power, I love you too!”

My higher power saved my life this morning – that’s all there is to it.  The voice I head was just in my head I know, but it sounded to me like it came from outside of myself.  My higher power is something that is bigger than I am – its inside of me and outside of me.  It lives in my heart just as it live in everything around me.  I try not to take anything for granted, it can be taken away in a heart beat.  It’s hard to love something that death can touch, but I do love deeply and true.  I love with all my heart and I am not ashamed to say it or show it.  I love my friends and family and again – I am not ashamed to say it.  So if I tell you I love you, then I do.

Hubby and I also say “I love you, drive safe.”  at the end of every phone conversation, before we leave and in texts.  The one time we didn’t was the summer before we go married and I was just leaving work.  We got in a bit of a tiff on the phone and we both hung up upset and without saying our normal sign off.  We didn’t even say “I love you.”  On my way home I got in a car accident, not bad but still totaled my car and shook me up pretty good.  As soon as Hubby and my Dad showed up I told him that we must ALWAYS say I love you and drive safe, no matter what.  And to this day we do, I also say drive safe to my loved ones and friends.  So if I tell you drive safe, it’s not cause I think you are a bad driver, its cause I love you and want you to be safe.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

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