Tag Archive: Religion and Spirituality


With March almost over I wanted to do a little check in.  This has been a big month for us.  I turned 30 years old, celebrated 9 years at my current job and we started foster/adoptive parent classes.  I have not been to a meeting in two weeks, I was feeling a little burnt out.  Plus with class being on Wed nights and not getting home till after 9pm the next day I feel dead.  Makes it hard to want to go anywhere Thursday night as well.  I do miss my Al-anon family, but right now I have to take care of myself.

I was taught that in Al-Anon, we have to take care of ourselves.  And right now that means getting rest and not over doing it.  The first class was a shocker and until I get used to staying up late on Wed nights it might be a little bit till I can get to a meeting.  I still do my reading and will still try to keep in touch with everyone.

This being the third month we talked about the third step, I am having to do that a lot and turn stuff over.  Its hard, but I know in my heart that my Higher Power is there right beside me through all of this.  I pray for the strength to stay on track and make it though this process of becoming a parent.  I know my daughter is out there somewhere, just waiting for us like we are waiting for her.

I use the serenity prayer so much om my way to work – it’s a good thing I don’t have my windows down, the cars next to me might hear me yell it over and over to myself till I can say it calmly from the heart.  That’s when I know my higher power has heard me and I feel the calming nature of his presence with me.

What are somethings that you have turned over to the care of God, as you understood him?  What are somethings that you know you need to let go of but are having an issue doing so?

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New Month, next step…

The 3rd step is also the 3rd step in my little cha-cha dance.

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

We made a decision…  this says to me that it is truly up to me to make this choice.  I can choose to be sick and crazy, or I can choose to get better and ask for help from my higher power.  If I ask for help then I have to be willing to get out of the damn way so that He can do what He needs to do to help me. And it’s the care of God not the full control, not the ultimate fix all.  We still have to play a part in our lives, we just have to be willing to ask the right questions and listen to the answers.  It may not be what we want and it may not even be something that we understand at the very moment.  But it is there, if we ask for it.

If I ask for the ability to understand my husband, He is going to give me a situation where I have to be understanding.  If I want to forgive my husband, He will give me a situation where I will need to forgive.  If I ask to be more patient, He will give me a situation where I have to show patience.  He is not going to magically give me what I ask for, He is going to give me the tools to show myself that I have the ability to do it.  Al-Anon has shown me that when I asked for strength, He showed me that I am strong.

So as we start our step 3, remember that it is in this step that we learn that God is willing to show us what we already have inside us, if we are willing to trust Him and ask for His help.  It’s like asking for someone to take the blindfold off so you can look at your self for the first time.  You get to see all the wonderful things inside you that has been there the whole time, it was just hidden behind our own blockades.  We pulled off the blinders, we pulled back the shades…seeing the true self that is there by asking God for His help, we should be ready for the next step – Our personal inventory, but more on that next month.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too.

 

 

Pray for 14 days…

If you find yourself at ends with someone, you just can’t seem to get past your resentment, anger or fear…pray for them for 14 days straight.  Pray that they find peace, pray that they find what they are searching for, pray that they get what it is they want out of their life.  If you forget on the 13th day, you don’t get to just continue.  You have to start over again with day 1.  Do this over and over till you make it the full 14 days.  Yesterday was my day one.  The person I pray for was once a friend, but is now concentrating one hate and dis-contentment.  I pray that they find peace dear lord.  I pray that their heart be true.  I pray that they can sleep knowing the words they say were heard.  I pray that they get what they want int their life so that one day they be happy with who they are.  Being in the active disease still I can not and will not participate in their choice of living life in a toxic manner, but pray that they find hope and help to no longer feel the need for the toxic life.  Dear lord watch over this child of god as they are in need of your guidance as they travel the path they have chosen.

I pray for you…

Dear god, I pray for those who have hatred in their hearts.  I pray that they one day find compassion for other people and learn not to lash out at those who suffer.  I pray that they find the peace and serenity that I have even with the pain that I feel on a daily basis.  I pray that you one day find a way to be truly happy.  For spreading hate and dis-contentment hurts not only those around you but also hurts yourself.  I pray that you find a way to deal with your own short comings as I have learned to ask God to remove mine. I pray that I learn how to show to others that I am grateful and am not perfect.  For this life is not about perfection, it is about progress.

happy…

“We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it.”

 

I asked God …

I asked God

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn’t granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own! But I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said…Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

 

Hello May!

Before we say good bye to April i have to ask – how many of you have done your step 4?

Tomorrow I will post on step 5.  I did get my book last night a kinda flipped through it a bit, there is so much stuff on there that I would have never thought of.  I can not wait to start writing in it.  Tonight is my first night of doing Yoga again – I have been away from it for too long.  I need to get back into a healthier life style.  Now that I have the tools to not be crazy all the time, its time to get my body and mind on the same page.  I need to get back to being healthy with what I eat and what I do in my spare time.

I have been so tired lately and in so much pain, it has not been fun.  But I keep pushing on through.  Cheers to the end of April and to a nice fresh start to May.

 

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

 

Today…

I had an awesome post typed out for today – and something happened and the wonderful world wide web ate it!  So here I go again – I will try to remember all the good things I had typed out.  I have been in recovery now for 131 days, every day it gets a little better.  Death has been all around me lately, whether it be program related or just in general.  But is saddens me when I hear of it non the less.  My self adopted family just lost his brother, cancer was a painful thing for their family.

Dealing with the thoughts that my husband could have drank himself to death had nothing been done scares me.  But I try not to let those thoughts stand in the way of the happiness that I have right at this  very moment.  That’s all I can do is live for today.  The past is the past  and things that happened yet are still up to God.  I can pray and I can ask the right questions, but I have to be willing to listen to the answers even if they are not what I want to hear.

I have a friend who is still in ICU, he is making progress and they are keeping us all posted.  Again, all I can do is pray.

as this month comes to a close I wanted to mention that I have yet to work my step 4 – I know the other ones were not like this one.  And I am not alone, I know of a few people who have been in program a long time and are still working on number 4.  I ordered blue print for progress off amazon and it should be here today.  I am also taking some classes online that my work is offering.  I started my first one on Friday, there are 15 I want to take.  In the first one, one part mentioned writing out a personal inventory of yourself – HA – that’s step 4!  How about that, it’s funny how program works for all parts of our lives.

 

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

There are two kinds of people. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Morning, Lord,” and there are those that say” Good Lord, its morning.” Every morning I wake up, I am Blessed. No matter how much drama is in my life or how much pain my body may be in, I know God is watching over me. I’m Blessed – Thank God for what you have.  I have a friend who at this very moment is in ICU after an accident, I bet his wife thanks God every time he opens his eyes.  Be thankful for every waking moment.

I think that we forget the little things in life, sometimes we take them for granted.  I know I used to complain about having to get up at 5 am and go off to work everyday.  But Really I should say “Thank God I woke up, thank God I have a job to go to and thank God I have a car to go there in.”  I take pride in what I worked hard for – I should take the same pride in doing the work in the first place.

I am at a point in my life now where death has shown its face around me enough, I have come close to loosing some people I love to bad accidents or bad circumstances.  But one thing I never forgot to do was thank God they lived.  What I did forget to do was thank Him that I lived.  But now with Prayer, with faith and with a new Self worth, I can take the first waking moments of EVERY day and say “Good morning, Lord.  Thank you for this day.”

Don’t Believe in God, that your own choice.  Its not always the beard and sandals guy I am talking to.  I know that it is God as I understand him.  My higher power is not always the same, it depends on what I am praying about.  I turn stuff over to my higher power and let them deal with it.

We watched the movie last night “life as we know it” The couple in the story dies leaving their little girl to the care of their friends.  I made me start to think about who in my life I could trust to do so.  When you make a choice like that you just have to pray that God will help them in providing the love that you would have.  I know that my furry kids would be taken care of and loved.

I pray for me, I pray for my husband, I pray for my parents, and I pray for my friends.  I can not let the trials and tribulations that my loved ones maybe going through bowl over my own feelings and needs.  But I do send up lots of prayers and send loving thoughts their way.  If I let it consume me than my own needs are not met.  For too many years I did not care for my own needs and have suffered for it.  Today I know I can care for others while still caring for myself first.

AA and Al-anon have given me these tools to be able to do this.  Sobriety and faith have given me what alcohol had promised me all those years.  To be blessed, know you are blessed and be thankful for that blessing – that to me is my serenity.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and god does too!

what a day…

Serenity

Serenity (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  Please protect me with an arm around my shoulders and a hand firmly over my mouth!

Ever have a day where the slightest thing can make you want to go homicidal?  I really have no idea why, but just felt like something snapped and I no longer had the ability to keep my big mouth shut.  So I took a walk – splashed some cool water on my face and said the serenity prayer a few hundred times till I felt better.

I am still angry, but at least now I no longer want to hurt someone.  It has taken me a while to get to the point where I am able to do this.  I still snapped off a few not so nice comments before I was able to calm down, but at least I was able to get a handle on myself.

 

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!

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