Tag Archive: vacation

The Courage To Change The Things That I Can…

There have been many instances lately (Which have also been a root cause of the absence of my writing) where work has just overwritten even my play time. I find myself dedicated to a cause, even striving to near perfection, in the completion of all tasks in a prompt and friendly manner. When I started to fall behind in a workload where only 50% I could actually control, I started to unknowingly allow myself to fall into the HALT categories. On the days where I was working, I pushed myself far beyond the normal limits, and the consequences started to rear their ugly heads.

Whenever I went into work early, to try to get a head start and edge the workload, I began to edge my need for food, and began to become hungry. When I was hungry, it was far easier to become irritable- which meant being angry was only a step away. Let me assure any doubters out there, that when you are angry, people will respond to you in two fashions; 1) They will get angry in return and a fight will follow or 2) They will avoid you like a bad case of the flu, which will ultimately leave you alone a.k.a. lonely. Once you have reached this point you will hit a stonewall emotional dump….sometimes even physical and behold, you are a tired individual.

I don’t know where the origination of HALT came from, but I do know that it makes sense to avoid every item on that list. I found that in no instance when I allow myself to follow in any of these categories, was I properly working my program, and was readily reproved by my sponsor. He chuckles at me frequently however and is quick to remind me that I am asking for trouble when I fail to start my day with a prayer and a daily reading.

I guess we all need a reminder every once in a while, even if you are years into sobriety, or just days.

God will grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, All  the courage I Need to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference If I Ask For His Help.

Steps 1-3 were taught to me in this format:

1) I Can’t

2) He Can   (He being God or your Higher Power)

3) I Think I’ll Let Him (The word Think is derived from even a fraction of willingness we have to try something outside our will)

God bless you all!

G.O.D. Good Orderly Direction

“It is when we try to make our will conform with God‘s that we begin to use it rightly. To all of us, this was a most wonderful revelation. Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God’s intention for us. To make this increasingly possible is the purpose of A.A.’s Twelve Steps, and Step Three opens the door.”

Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions Page 40

I recently (On 3/10/12) did my steps 4,5,6 and 7 and found out some information about myself that I was able to see for some time now, but refused to look at it. A sense of pride clouded my addictions, and like termites to a foundation, when the right storm came in I came down. I did not have the right order of God and structure in my life. That order is a task, even a chore some days, to keep on the front lines of our concerns. Complacency is our deepest and deadliest enemy next to the drug we used to favor. When we think we are ok, and no longer need the order, that is when we are most ready to fall.

As I sat in the meeting on 3/12/12 I heard that same warning cast out by another man, now trembling and very visibly shaken. He had become a strength he said, and a person who dealt with many sponsee’s, but the moment he stopped daily prayer and meditation, was the moment he was preparing himself for catastrophe. Without specifics he repeated his warning, and then said (Im paraphrasing adding much here:) that his complacency cost him 8 years on Sobriety Street, now he is trying to move of Addict Avenue once more.

The best thing I needed years ago, and that he needed recently, was G.O.D. Some Good Orderly Direction! If I keep God in my life, I keep good chances of sobriety- ALWAYS taking it one day at a time.

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