Twelve Steps of a Relapse…

These are not intended to offend anyone – some might get a chuckle, some might see where they have gone off the path of serenity and onto the path of self-destruction.

Twelve Steps of a Relapse

1. I decided I could handle any emotional problems if other people would just quit trying to run my life.

2. I firmly believe that there is no greater power than myself and anyone who says differently is insane.

3. I made a decision to remove my will and my life from God, who didn’t understand me anyway.

4. I made a searching and thorough moral inventory of everyone I know, so they couldn’t fool me and take advantage of my good nature.

5. I sought these people out and tried to get them to admit to me, by God, the exact nature of their wrongs.

6. I became willing to help these people get rid of their defects of character.

7. I was humble enough to ask these people to remove their shortcomings.

8. I kept a list of all the people who had harmed me, and waited patiently for a chance to get even.

9. I got even with these people whenever possible except when to do so would get me into trouble.

10. I continue to take everyone’s inventory and when they are wrong, which is most of the time, I promptly make them admit it.

11. Sought through the concentration of my willpower to get God, who didn’t understand me anyhow, to see that my desires were best, and He ought to give me the power to carry them out.

12. Having maintained my emotional problems with these steps, I can thoroughly recommend them to others who don’t want to lose their hard-earned status, but wish to be left alone to practice neurosis in everything they do for the rest of their days.

Thanks to http://www.serenityfound.org/humor/steps_relapse.html  for this list.

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Pray for 14 days…

If you find yourself at ends with someone, you just can’t seem to get past your resentment, anger or fear…pray for them for 14 days straight.  Pray that they find peace, pray that they find what they are searching for, pray that they get what it is they want out of their life.  If you forget on the 13th day, you don’t get to just continue.  You have to start over again with day 1.  Do this over and over till you make it the full 14 days.  Yesterday was my day one.  The person I pray for was once a friend, but is now concentrating one hate and dis-contentment.  I pray that they find peace dear lord.  I pray that their heart be true.  I pray that they can sleep knowing the words they say were heard.  I pray that they get what they want int their life so that one day they be happy with who they are.  Being in the active disease still I can not and will not participate in their choice of living life in a toxic manner, but pray that they find hope and help to no longer feel the need for the toxic life.  Dear lord watch over this child of god as they are in need of your guidance as they travel the path they have chosen.

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I pray for you…

Dear god, I pray for those who have hatred in their hearts.  I pray that they one day find compassion for other people and learn not to lash out at those who suffer.  I pray that they find the peace and serenity that I have even with the pain that I feel on a daily basis.  I pray that you one day find a way to be truly happy.  For spreading hate and dis-contentment hurts not only those around you but also hurts yourself.  I pray that you find a way to deal with your own short comings as I have learned to ask God to remove mine. I pray that I learn how to show to others that I am grateful and am not perfect.  For this life is not about perfection, it is about progress.

Related articles

• Pray for 14 days… (chipinmyheart.wordpress.com)
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happy…

“We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it.”

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Welcome to Febuary and to Step 2…

Step 2 –  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

Hubby said to him the “came to” in this step means he woke up, I agree.  I was in a dream state – a surreal nightmare that had become my life.  I was aboard this crazy train that was on the war path to a bridge that was out.  I was bound to hit rock bottom and there was not conductor directing the train.  I had been the conductor of my crazy train for a while, then when my sorrow and depression reached its peak I just gave up.  I let go of the wheel and locked the door.  No one could get to the wheel and I was headed out of control.  While sitting in the AA meeting for hubby’s 6 month chip, I saw the red light flashing saying that I was going to crash but chose to ignore it.  About halfway through that meeting it hit me, unlock the door so that my higher power can get me on the right track before I crash and burn!  Once I did that the alarms went off and the flashing red light turned off, I had been saved from the bottomless pit of my self despair.

After reading that you might think that I have yet to get my sanity back, but that’s truly how I felt then.  I was lost, helpless, hopeless, alone, depressed, and desperate.  I felt like I could not to talk to anyone cause no one would understand me.  Anytime I tried to talk to my friends they would not see what I did, the act we had become so good at doing was too good at hiding the pain and trouble we had.  At the same time as soon as someone would voice concern I would come up with all kinds of excuses.  The lies were hard to keep up with, sometimes I would forget who was told what.  I hated to lie, made me feel sick inside, but I could not let on that things had gotten that bad.  I could not stand it if I started to get pity from people.

I had enough self-pity, I could not take it from others on top of it.  I always had what I felt was a good spiritual foundation, but my relationship with God was always fuzzy.  My parents allowed me to go to church with all my friends.  So I went to christen church youth nights, Mormon church dances and functions.  I had friends who were Wiccan, pagan, atheist and what I feel that I am – agnostic.  When I say I am agnostic it doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in God, I don’t believe in one religion over another.  I like some parts from each one, but too many have thing I do not believe in for me to set myself to a commitment to just one.  In a way I feel like a part of all of them, so that is me.  I do not belong to one group or one belief.  The only belief that I have is that of sobriety and serenity, Faith and my higher power.

I talk to my higher power a lot, mostly in the car.  That seems to be when I need the most help!  My higher power is not always God, most of the time it is and he is the under laying faith in every part of my life now.  But sometime when I talk to my higher power I thing of my grandfather or someone who has passed on but still watches over me.  Remember, higher power is God as You understand him.  So that is the way that I understand my higher power.

If no one has told you they love you today, I love you and God does too!